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You NEED to look through corners, you really do.

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by brownyy, Oct 13, 2009.

  1. Pre-read advice, this keyboard stab session has no point, so if you have better things to do, go do them, if you don't, read this and then you'll realise you had better things to do, so now go do them.

    Some part about motorcycling had me take up the idea that I'll ride my motorcycle everywhere possible. Very early in the piece I would ride in the rain even when parking wasn't an issue and people would ask, "why don't you take the car?". This is simple enough, then it moved onto cases where I had a shit load of baggage or weight, and the car was still neglected in favour of me some how throwing all that weight on my back and attempting to ride my bike. Pretty soon I got used to this one also.

    But my latest "on principle" feat was a little different. While I didn't engage in the level of Ktulu's eye exam I tested my riding 'abilities' with some added challenges.

    As recently mention in site discussion about JohnnyO's tyre donations, as part of it I was required to collect said tyres and deliver. The shop from which we were collecting closed too early for me to ride home and collect the car. Daytona it is straight after work.

    I wrapped an old t-shirt length ways around the rear tyre then duct taped it into position, to stop the rear tyre rubbing on the fuel tank. The idea was then to wear both rear and front tyres as giant belts, with my work bag on my back, and ride away.


    My arms are too short. I couldn't reach the bars when I was sitting on it. This involved dropping the bag and front tyre off at a servo with the trusted 7-11 guy (pays to use a regular servo and be friendly to your 7-11 guy, he now lets me pay helmet on, sometimes music in, and in this case, leave a bag and tyre there no questions asked!! Thanks to 7-11 guy near the melbourne hospital!!). I rode home with the rear then returned to collect the front and bag.

    But the challenge still stood. I must somehow get to JO's with both tyres in time. I geared up, wrapped the rear tyre in a towel as mentioned and jumped on. I'm short and the Daytona is on a steep street half on the sidewalk. Interesting. I then asked my dim witted house mate (story for another day) to place the front tyre over my head. I knew it wouldn't fit under my arms, so I thought it would fit on my shoulder and rest there.


    Couldn't see shit.

    Then I thought, what about putting one arm through it, so its sort of hanging over one shoulder.


    Couldn't reach one bar.

    Two arms through?

    Fail twice ****head, tried this earlier, didn't you remember??
    Couldn't reach either bar.

    All the time its spitting rain and my car is looking at me thinking: "wtf are you doing knob? It's raining and you have cargo, you have me and I run, get in and get this over with."

    I love you car but No.

    Somehow I managed to work my arms through the front tyre and push it under my arms level with the rear tyre. Problem, I'm stuck. I'm stuck on the bike because I can't climb off, and I can't get this tyre off. Shit!! House mate has gone inside, helmet is on with jacket and I have limited movement. I have a helmet bluetooth thingy, but the voice dial is fukd to say the least (phone flaw) and I have no chance of reaching my phone to dial said housemate.

    I'm like a cat with its head stuck in something, half of you makes you feel sorry for it, the other half wants to kick it out of sheer laughter and punishment for been so stupid getting stuck there in the first place. Problem is, everyone would just look at me and feel the latter. If any NetRiders were they, they wouldn't have hesitated to give me a push... (airn't that right 'ey Loz! :rofl:)

    In some contortion fashion I managed to wiggle an arm out, then both and remove the front tyre.

    What now, I was heating up quite some and needed to get rolling time wise. While it was sitting on my head / shoulders / upper arms I noticed something. If I tilt it forward, I can grab the bars the the tyre rests on the back of my helmet, and importantly, I can see!!


    Start the bike and lets go. Steering is a little tight, just have to feed a bit more in, body can't lean at all, no problems not going hard. Then I realise some stuff...

    Mirrors; useless, elbows blocking them and can't move elbows due to rear tyre.
    Head Checks; impossible, front tyre resting on helmet prevents head from turning... AT ALL.
    Look left and right at intersections; impossible, as above.

    Ok this should be interesting, can only look straight.

    I do a few slow laps of the local blocks and decided, "life is a challenge and boring if you live within the norm, lets have a crack, i'm fully insured and licensed (for now)". Thing is, how would you explain at a crash scene; one bike, two wheels, four tyres, one rider...??

    I took off through essendon, and still managed to pass a daewoo hatch thingo, excellent. Tram lines are still tram lines and in the wet are just as easy... if I had room do to the quick flick of the bars I do to cross them. That's ok, I only need to cross them once... wait twice, wait, four times... damn it.

    I go past the essendon junction roundabout with commuters in the middle waiting for trams... they all look at my slow mozy around the 'bout, some old dude laughing, some kids pointing...

    Approaching the first set of lights with very wide lanes I spot my normal split route. Should I?? Farrrrk yes!! :grin: Split through and pull up causally at the front... well as causal I could be for someone wearing tyres as a belt and necklace.

    As a standard filter would finish, I power off the line quicker then the cars as to not get hit or hold them up post filter. I did as normal and discovered something in the higher rev range when I wanted to change to second. As the acceleration increased, I lent back... more then usual, and trying to change to second, I couldn't quite reach the clutch as usual!! shit!! a longer stretch and I found it, just, and completed the gear change. Soon I realised the rear tyre (as in, the one around me) had moved. A quick nudge forward and I was set, with a big smile on my face.

    Getting to the freeway was great. My first open sweeper I usually hit with speed was interesting... I thought about it, and thought, yes, lets have a crack shall we!! (for those in melbourne, coming from Bulla road in essendon, onto the freeway north bound, taking the lane for the tulla freeway takes you over that bridge which is a giant right hand sweep).

    I open the throttle, pass 130ish and get to the start of it.


    Can't turn my frikking head!!! Can't look through corner!! Fark me!! Eyes rapidly looking across, but I could feel the resistance against my helmet. I'm instantly running wide and veering into the next (and thank goodness, empty) lane. Chop throttle, hell no, commit son!! Somehow I managed to lean the bike over, and start into this corner. I've never felt so ridged on a bike. I got settled in the corner and even twisted a little more power on... awesome, I'm approaching some skyline thing, would be great to round them up in this state... however I don't the lanes merge together and I didn't like my chances...

    On the freeway, two-three lanes most of the way, and merging is interesting. No mirrors. No head checks. No head turning. Solution: accelerate hard for a bit, and hope that no one is speeding beside / behind you and indicate for a while then merge.

    I changed lane and have no idea what space I just pulled into!! I'm a cager again!! :shock:

    Soon I had my confidence with my new found sliders, or should I call them rotators, getting lent over enough on the Spur means I get ring burn around my torso as three tyres make contact with the ground. I find myself back to my similar riding style, speeding and splitting everything I can see.

    Soon I approach the western ring road turn off, for those unknowing, a sweep left then long right. Enter at normal speed.

    Shit, running wide again, adjust, not enough, chop throttle. Start right hander, set up, held, power on...

    Getting onto the western ring road I decided speeding isn't a good idea with my current state of apparel. I ease back and end up slowly coasting past a P-plater. He double takes and laughs. Then I realise, what if someone takes my picture like Mr BBQ Australia Day man and eventually the police get my rego from it?? I decide a no flash photography rule applies.

    Crack the throttle and speed up and spend as little time next to cars as I can. Must be demoralising for some drivers, to be past by a motorcyclist, speeding, wearing two tyres.

    Arrive to destination, alive, vertical, un-fined, and more importantly, with my package.

    yay for motorcycling!!

  2. LMAO! I wish I had of got there first to see you arrive! Mini michelin man!
  3. Great story! Very dangerous. Don't do that.
  4. You f*cken goon. :LOL:
  5. I only read the bits in bold, but from that I ascertained that things weren't going well for you for quite a while. Then things went okay. Then backwards again and finally success. And in the end you had your faith in motorcycling restored.

    So congrats for hangin' in there, sticking it out, overcoming multiple hurdles and succeeding in a few of life's little challenges....whatever they were...

  6. Ya Bloody Clown
    Nice work... In an Unorthodox manner
  7. You are a gold plated idjit.
    May you ride well and safely forever more. Because you've used up ALL your luck right there!
  8. Hahaha. You should have taken some pics.

    This reminded me of a recent issue of BIKE, they had a race around London but had to take random packages with them. Blow-up dolls, tyres etc.:LOL:
  9. Great story and quite a giggle ya clown!
  10. Funny stuff mate... but seeing as no one else has done it::worthlesspics:

  11. Mr Pot, did you have something you wanted to say to Señor Kettle? :rofl:
  12. I did wonder about that... just assumed someone went in a car. Clearly I gave you too much credit. :wink:

    That is however an impressive display of obstinacy and will-power, however ill-advised!
  13. I can't believe I didn't think to take a picture. He did look pretty entertaining.

    (I ride with a spare tyre all the time, but mine is built-in and doesn't interfere with my view.)
  14. Soooooo, the moral of the story is that you need to look through the corner to corner properly... NOT that you shouldn't carry a set of tyres around one's person while riding a motorbike... ah huh. mmmmm. yep. That's the moral alright... LOL. Crazy coot!
  15. What about when you pee?:bolt:
  16. only you browny, great read
  17. Mate .. You are a bloody idiot! You could have ended up hurt or worse...:roll:

    .. now that's outa the way
    You're a Goose!! :LOL:
    Damn pity no-one was there to capture the moment digitally.

  18. Hahaha, great read, definitely made my morning haha.

    I would imagine the tyres can act as airbags if you stacked it...must've been a long 30 minutes of riding from Essendon to Northern suburbs :p
  19. LOL!

    It's OK. It is a fairly low-profile tyre. I can see how it could get to be a challenge though! :)
  20. :LOL:

    Thinking pics would have been good, might try and re-enact it at PI tomorrow and post the pics later next week / post GP.

    Thanks all for the comments, good to hear everyone got a laugh out of it... I did... (once I worked out how to ride the damn thing)... :grin: