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Wire Rope Barriers - Rant

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by far_canel, Apr 1, 2009.

  1. [rant_on]

    In my many dealings with VicRoads I spend a lot of time on hold with there shit useless phone monkeys. While I know they are doing a simple job fill in the blanks, answer the question here etc I know its not the exact operators fault your talking to (usually) however there is no real effective method of complaining and voicing your frustrations and anger at this retarded illogical company. So losing your nut at the phone monkey is much more satisfying then losing it at someone near you directly after said phone call to monkey company, VicRoads.

    As stated, I spend some time on hold, so much time I actually know the menu options before they are read out. Dial 131171 for VicRoads, Press 3 for licensing matters, press 4 to wait 25 minutes on hold then speak to an operator. While the little recored voice comes in and says "the estimated wait time is 5 minutes until your query is answered" which ends up been closer between 12-17 minutes. best time to catch them, 8:45am when there coffee is still hot but they have read the paper and will actually answer the flashing light on their phone. (damn monkeys).

    In the midst of the p0rn music, they have recorded messages talking about your registration fee including a TAC fee for insurance, and major projects happening (ever so f^&*ing slowly) around the state. However, one of the recorded messages talks about Wire Rope Safety Barriers (WRS8).

    The recorded message portrays something similar to this:
    (just before you read this, picture this tone, a female is reading the information, in a voice such that a primary school teacher would talk to a prep student on his/her first day of school. A soft calming voice, with emphasis of the safety segments as if to tell you they are correct no matter what.)


    Yes, we can all feel the angry burn now can't we, you want to tear wooden desks in half, kick yip-yip poodles across the MCG, bash street preachers with a spiky mace, angle-grind the pimply kid's face at McDonald's as you tell him you wanted no pickle in your cheese burger, all of the above and more at once.

    So after thinking about calm blue oceans for some time, or more correctly, falling asleep at work again, I was in the mood for stirring up some shit. It probably didn't help that recently I had an argument with a female which in the male's eyes seems completely pointless and logically flawed (really, sometimes I wonder why the f^&* anyone would want to pro-create in this stupid species).

    After dealing with the again, useless phone monkey, I asked about said WRSB and was referred to the traffic management something or rather. I quoted the so called super safe 90% effective super barriers and asked at what point did the super powers in super f^&*ing moron road company ever think about motorcyclists???

    Suddenly I got greeted with "sorry sir I can't hear you"... Unblock your ears you Neanderthal c^&*, you could hear me fine at the start of the conversation. Again I repeat, "sir I can't hear you".
    Stops, breathes, squeezes my phone handset so hard it makes a funny creaking noise, then I say; "can you hear me now" moving the hand piece closer to my mouth.
    "Yes sir that is much better".
    I repeat the question about the WRSB's and explain it, slowly, so even a Labrador could understand it. Again; "Sir, I can not hear you."

    Of course you can't, your some f^&*ing retard they found in the bin of an abortion clinic.

    More colourful abuse and then I hang up.

    In my further attempts to stir up shit with VicRoads because simply, I've had a shit few days at work, I don't like my senior engineer, said communications with female were as fun as fire hose enema's and I really don't feel like doing the work that I actually don't have.

    So I decided to dial up some information, and came across the WRSB design standards.

    After a semi-speed read of the 19 page document, it states nothing about the target it is designed to arrest. Been from an engineering back ground this 'design standard' is totally, to put it nicely, f^&%ed!!! No where through the document does it state car / truck / motorcycle / bicycle / skateboard / speeding impala / goat on go-y. So basically, according to this document, the WRSB system has 'been designed' with no actual target or purpose in mind. Hmmmmmm :?

    While I realise that for this exact reason they are not going to publish the deal design standard, it still shits me to think, somewhere along the line one of two things happened:

    1) During the define / select phase of the design process, the moronic team assembled completely forgot about motorcycles.
    2) During same phase motorcycles were completely remembered and deemed to hard to deal with and therefore swept under the rug.

    But hey, what am I going to do??
    That is why this is a rant.


    This lovely post has wasted some time, my boss has left and i'm going to get a haircut at a new place for three reasons, the last place did a shit job, the new place has those cool spinning twirly barber poles, and the new places gives you a free beer between 4 and 6 with every hair cut.
    Oh and I almost forgot, the girl at the new place is much more attractive then the swamp donkey at the old place that couldn't cut hair for shit.



    Edit: spelling (only some).
  2. Whilst I am not sold on the effective/ineffectiveness of WRSB, please tell me more of this hair dresser with buxom wenches & free beer...Namely the address :LOL:

    Edit: Oh yeah, the safety barriers are designed to this specification http://www.saiglobal.com/PDFTemp/Previews/OSH/as/as3000/3800/3845.pdf
    If you have $155 dollars you can purchase the complete PDF!
  3. Beer and haircuts sounds awesome :D

    Yea the barriers suck, sure it will help sedans, but I cant see it doing squat for trucks.....does more damage to a bike than its worth, and I cant imagine an open wheeler like a lotus 7 coming off too well either, to mention a few.
  4. more importantly... beer and a haircut... where?

    Thanks for the links
  5. MV, i'll get work to acquire that PDF, but it will be watermarked with our company logo all over it. So once I quit i'll host it somewhere.

    Now down to business, the haircut and beer.

    First up and foremost was my first f^&* up... When I checked the place out at lunch time, I'd literally just walked out of the gym, and angles and dehydration must act beer-gogglish... I approached said new hair dresser, she wasn't as cute as I thought she was... defiantly a 4 beer-er...

    Upon walking inside, you realise this place has been styled from a 70's/80's barber. The twirly pole things, the old school furniture, the classic old instruments in a display cabinet, the decor and posters. All in all, it looked legitimately like a old school barber, that is if they are trying to achieve that look. I'd hate to think of the possibilities if they weren't.

    Next shock was, "yeah mate, how much"... $26.
    Fark. For a trim!! Well I guess they have to make there beer money somehow. I asked about eftpos, and after looking as the "cash register" it became apparent the electron was just been discovered when the cash register was commissioned. The answer I received was "there's a money hole just there" pointing across the walkway in front of the shop.

    Upon copping my $2 atm fee in the arse with an un-lubed pair of pilers, I decided this place wasn't worth it, and started walking to the $15 joint below my work building. I got half way there, I felt the sun and thought; "damn i'd really like a beer, and after that absolutely shitful haircut from the last place, yeah nah..." and did a U-turn...

    Back to Old School Barbers anonymous, I take a seat. Shafted. The dude that looks fresh from the 80's is cutting my hair, and the 4-beer chic with nice arse is sitting on it watching telly.

    He's asking me what I want done, and all in all, I usually don't give that much a hoot about my hair. As long as it's neat and looks semi decent and low maintenance, thats all i want. He rambles something on and i act on his suggestion. While I'm sitting, i couldn't help to think; "where is the damn fridge??".

    Thinking maybe I get my beer after he's cut most of the hair off, I wait patently.

    Still waiting.

    Ok done, haircut finished. Strange, I get the beer as a traveler? Must be a reason for it I don't know, some health and safety thing.

    I pay through the arse again, like berthing a small pineapple, and he hands me a flyer which reads;


    Fark it.

    So I left never to return.


    So yeah there is my hairdresser review.
  6. Place is called "RockIt"
    On North side of collins street, between Spencer and King, under fitness first, next to the food court.

    I feel bad for such an anti-climax story, so i'll post this pic, enjoy.


  7. A place called Grooming Room on St Kilda Rd does only mens haircuts and they serve beer if you get your hair cut on Fri arvos :wink: The girls that cut the hair are nice too :grin:
  8. How did this get from a thread about wire fences to pictures of scantily dressed hairdressers??

  9. Who cares?
  10. Who cares? I'm happy with the way it's developing...
  11. Yeah, well so much for the internet being this "amazing, incredible" invention ever. Duh - searched and searched and couldn't find one photo of a semi-naked male hairdresser to balance things out.

    Ah, Browny, you were sooo bored at work today weren't you! Made for good reading though, thanks.
  12. Hair?? what is this hair that you speak of???? :p
  13. we will glue some on for you Vic just so you can attend... :wink:

    I'm getting more of a giggle that this was moved to general rather then off-topic... I'm not sure this thread can be recovered back to WRSB... :?

    Although, it could be discussed, what is the pro's and con's of certain hair styles and motorbike helmets.

    I know for one, girls are always saying; "oh no, my helmet hair looks terrible today"... Also from a guy's point of view, if you use gel in your hair when you go out, wearing a helmet with gel spells absolute mess let alone putting all that crap in your helmet...

    I think the only winners are the bald / shaved head people... its all the same to them I guess...?
  14. My hair is a 3 on the top and a 2 on the sides. No helmet hair here... but I'm just kidding myself when I do the dramatic hair-flip when I take the lid off.

    I seem to recall that despite their scary appearance and nickame (egg-slicers), WRBs are not actually that much worse for bikes than Armco. It's hitting the posts that'll do ya, so in a way it's a probability thing... but if you're going quick enough Armco or a wall will stop you too fast for health too...

    As to the non-mention of type of vehicle... I'm reasonably sure these people are so solidly used to defaulting on 'car' that the question never even arose in their minds at all, hence the lack of a mention in the spec.
  15. Just some more reading (Note: there are no photos of scantily clad hair dressers or offers of free beer. Sorry.) Part 3.9 has reference to motorcyclists. Despite some research having been done, it is disappointing that it is limited due to the limited number of us on the road apparently. It is a dated article so hopefully has been superseded with real research. I do note that there are apparently two products that would offer some protection to motorcyclists.
  16. Nice work Day;

    Had a read there, interesting stuff. My memory is fuzzy, but I believe there are groups that are trying to get something done about these WRSB's for the benefit of motorcyclists. Is that still underway and if so what stage is it at?

  17. speaking of hair, I shave my head and now have to wear a bandanna under my helmet because even a half day growth acts on the helmet lining like velcro :shock:
  18. I get helmet scalp.


  19. :p