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wife and husband

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by MattyB, Dec 18, 2006.

  1. Dear Husband:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

    I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
    for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
    that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

    Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
    nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
    You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
    watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
    me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
    whatever the case is, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Wife

    P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away
    to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

    Dear Ex-Wife

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
    and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry
    from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your
    constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

    I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing
    that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to
    not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

    When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
    BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

    I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price
    tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had
    just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was
    $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it

    So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
    quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you
    were gone.

    Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
    life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote,
    you won't get a dime from me. So take care.


    Rich As Hell and Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
    Carla. I hope that's not a problem.