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Why scooters are better than motorbikes!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Audible, Jun 13, 2008.

  1. Why 50cc scooters are better than motorbikes.

    An entertaining comparison proving how statistics combined with tongue in cheek can be made to prove anything.

    Those diminutive, little scooters. Most riders rarely see them or acknowledge a scooter rider. Perhaps it is because motorbike riders know little about these tiny little two wheel devices. Well, Here are some facts and figures for you to consider, and help throw some light as to why the mighty little 50cc scooter, is the best two wheel riding machine.

    Top Speed In some states of Australia, the 50cc scoot is restricted to a top speed of 50km/h which just so happens to be equivalent to 1 km/h per cc. Derestricted, a el cheapo 50cc scoot is capable of 65 km/h quite easily. Then you have the sports models such as the Ludix for example capable of 80kmh, more than 1.5 km/h per cc capacity. Then, the almighty Aprillia SR50 that is rumoured to be able to crack the ton, 100 km/h. That’s two km/h per cc capacity.
    If you have a motorbike capable of such speeds, that is, 2 kilometres per hour for every cc of capacity then please contact the guiness book of world records and proceed to your nearest salt lake flat.

    Acceleration. Unfortunately, I don’t have access to state of the art measuring equipment. But according to my watch, my own 50cc scooter can accelerate from a standing start to its top speed in around 14 seconds.
    By comparison, a big super sports bike may take just 4 seconds (or even quicker) to reach 100 km/h, but that is far short of its top speed now isn’t it? So how long will a big bore sports bike take to reach it’s top speed? 20 seconds? 30? Then, how far will that motor bike have traveled? My 50cc scooter will have hit its top speed and have room to slow down again before I get to my corner deli. By the time a big bore sports bike has wound the speedo off the gauge, your probably at least 2 suburbs away. So much for the paper and cigs from the local.

    Stunt riding A surprising number of sports bike riders love to practice lifting the front wheel in the air. Why I am not too sure. There are a couple of ways this is usually done, either giving the throttle a darn good twist or a method known as “clutching itâ€. Seems difficult to me. To get the front wheel of my 50cc scooter in the air I just grab it by the handle bars and pick it up. No need to even start the engine. Heck, I just have to load a bit of weight into the top box and it will almost do it all by itself.
    The other type of “mono†is where a motorbike rider applies the front brake only and lifts the rear wheel into the air.
    Sounds dangerous. You could overdo it and go head over handle bars. This feat is a bit harder to replicate on a 50 cc scooter as they can weigh around 90 kilos and most of that weight is over the back wheel. Still, with a bit of effort, the back end of the scooter can be lifted off the ground and again, without even having to start the engine. I can personally lift my Jolie off the ground quite easily.
    Another commonly performed stunt is the production of large quantities of smoke. It seems that a motorbike has to be stationary with the front brake held on and the throttle twisted open while in gear to produce smoke. Again a lot of effort. My 50cc scooter is a two stroke. I just start it up and it makes smoke automatically. Perhaps not as much as the above method performed on a motorbike at one time. But we are talking about overall production here. A motorbike can only produce smoke this way for a couple of minutes before the tyre goes bang and then you have to replace the tyre. You can keep on going producing smoke and changing tyres but that is going to get real expensive. With a 50cc scooter all you have to do is fill up the oil tank every couple of weeks or so and let it make smoke while you ride it around. How hard is that?

    Fuel Economy. When it comes to the battle at the petrol pump, heck, I don’t need to twist the facts in any way, shape or form now do I? If your 50cc scooter isn’t getting better than 3 litres per hundred clicks, then you need to fix the hole in the petrol tank. Then, you have the sarich engine based 50cc scooters which will go 250 kilometres before pulling into the petrol station and filling up for a purple note. Mind you, motorbikes are not that far behind. Figures of 3 point something abound when you are talking 250 cc motorbikes. So I guess double the fuel consumption can’t be all that bad can it?

    Carrying capacity. When it comes to carrying stuff, the superiority of the 50cc scooter is hard to see at first. There is a surprising array of devices and accessories to help the rider carry stuff and these toys are applicable to both scooter and motorcycle. Sidecars, top boxes, tow bar, back packs, even the under seat helmet storage of the 50cc scooter is sometimes seen on motorbikes as an compartment in the top of the fuel tank or even under the seat as well.
    So what is the one thing that makes the 50cc scooter superior to the motorcycle for carrying stuff? Well to answer that question, you have to consider the number one most important cargo a bike or scooter rider would want to carry. The Slab. You scurry down to the bottle shop in your motorcycle, where are you going to carry this precious cargo? On the seat behind you? Over the handle bars? Pretty good chance of The Slab hitting the deck when you corner I reckon. If you had a 50cc scooter, the slab fits rather nicely on the floor, between your feet. That’s right. Where your engine is located on a motorbike, a 50cc scooter has all that space for carrying stuff. Be it your legs and feet, or something important such as The Slab. For added security of this precious cargo, you can brace the box on either side with your legs. The only way it will hit the deck then is if you drop the whole darn scooter and then you are likely to get covered in beer in the process. Hmmmm. Well, if you are gunna die, is there a better way to go than covered in your favorite amber liquid?

    Parking. Now any two wheel bike is going to be pretty easy to park. In between a couple of cages, in an out of a way corner or alley way. Motorbikists and scooterites alike have both mastered the art of finding a spot to park. But when a motorbike can park in between a couple of cages, a 50cc scooter can park in between a couple of motorbikes. I have even heard that next years Honda Goldwing will come equipped with a 50cc scooter on the back instead of a spare tyre. Sit your motorcycle next to a scooter and see just how much smaller and easier to park a scooter would be. And if you really, really have to find the most hard to get place to park your scooter, you can just pick the whole thing up and carry it to that place. The only thing on the road easier to park than a scooter is your grannies walking frame or the kids pushie.

    Fashion. What to wear when you are riding your motorcycle? Both scooter and motorcycle rider can wear a jacket, gloves, boots, draggin jeans and so on. But let us look at the other preferred clothing for two wheel riding. The Squid. The squid prefers thongs, T shirts and shorts though there are a few variations such as Bathers for the beach for example. You could argue that one can ride bare foot on a scooter as we do not need to use our feet to ride, only to put a foot down at the lights though chances are on a hot day you will want at least one thong on. No real advantage however.
    No, the benefit of the 50cc scooter is for the ladies. Is there any ladies here who can swing a leg over a bike in a skirt? Now try riding a 50cc scooter while wearing a skirt. See how easy it is to simply sit down and off you go! No need to hike your skirt up around your undies. You can keep your dignity and ride at the same time. Mind you, this is probably a disadvantage for us blokes, who would much prefer to see your undies. But if a lady is wearing a rather short skirt and riding a scooter, there is a pretty good chance of that happening and for more of us blokes to see. I think there should be a discount on 50cc scooters to all short skirt wearing ladies.

    Price. Seen the price of a brand new 50cc scooter lately? Funny how comparable the price of it is to the insurance renewal you just got in the mail for your Suzuki uber god super duper ninja LOLITSQUIK 2000R. Oh, and the insurance renewal for a 50 cc scooter. Believe me, if your wife bought a new pair of shoes for the same price, you’d be smiling. Rego? ROFL! Taking the family to macca’s for lunch will seem expensive in comparison to the yearly rego renewal on a 50cc scooter. Everything about a 50cc scooter is cheap. Need a new tyre? Got a redback? How about a full set of brake pads? That’ll cost you a Slab including the labour to fit them. And if you drop the scoot and scratch the whole side up, who cares? It looks like a POS anyway and you can buy a whole new scooter for the price of the fairing on a Suzuki uber god super duper ninja LOLITSQUICK 2000R. If you buy a full set of safety gear to wear, you will probably end up wearing more in value than what the whole darn scooter cost!

    So as you can clearly see, there are a number of reason why a 50cc scooter is better than a motorcycle. I could continue with more facts to prove this point such as ease of repair (any dumb ass can fix one), anti theft (only a dumb ass would steal one) or licence requirements (any dumb ass can ride one) but it should be pretty obvious by now why 50cc scooters are the best!

    Feel free to comment as you feel fit about this thread. Remember to have your tongue firmly implanted in your cheek as you do so. It is all in the name of a laugh, good fun and a much needed poke in the ribs! :p
  2. Why a Bicycle is better than a 50cc Scooter

    Top Speed - Given it's 0cc displacement any forward movement is a win

    Acceleration - Standing start to top speed takes very little time, especially down a hill

    Stunt Riding - Let's see you get the 50cc scoot in a half-pipe

    Fuel Economy - It runs on food

    Carrying Capacity - Why carry the slab home when you can drink it there and not have to worry about losing your licence

    Parking - Bicycles are a lot easier to carry inside a building

    Fashion - Okay if you like to wear a skirt then yes buy a scooter

    Price - Zero insurance cost, zero rego costs, minimal service costs. Plus you don't need to pay $$$ to go to a gym and use an exercise bike for 15 minutes before buying another coffee and muffin from a cafe.

    So :p.
  3. jd

    So, it's Bicycle > Scooter > motorbike then? :LOL:
  4. By your criteria, yes.
    By other criteria it'd be motorcycle>scooter>bicycle

    Either way the scoots always second best. :p
  5. Nah, Motorcycle>bicycle>scooter, please. I'd rather be seen on a pushy than a scooter! :p :LOL:

  6. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

  7. Why a pitbike is best!

  8. A scooter will also also get you laid. So long as you squeal like a pig
  9. Yup they sure will!

  10. Gaa!

    Those images are enough to give ya nightmares!!! :eek:
  11. This thread is priceless!

    Scooters are like toilets on wheels. They just need to make a white one with a rectangular top box. And a little holder up front for the newspaper.

    I'll be fcuked if I'm going to strain about the roads looking like I'm squeezing out a fat turd. :D
  12. Why yes, somebody was way ahead of you...

  13. Anyone wanna buy a VFR750? I'm 'upgrading' to a vespa.

    Vic, is the username 'VESPA IRYDE' available? :p
  14. Upgrading from a Honda to a Vespa, seems reasonable to me :p :LOL:
  15. Glad everybody liked my sense of humour. :)

    I'm thinking on my next write up, doing a guide on how to do power wheelies on a 50cc scooter! :p
  16. lol JD, that was GOOD!!!!
  17. What no comparisons to hybrids, trikes or ATVs?

    nice work :)
  18. Fair comment.

    By the way, you can stack two slabs on the floor of an early model Vespa. With a little bit of care and a lot of luck you can even ride home from the pub with them there. DAMHIK! :LOL: