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Which is considered worse?

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by cejay, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. The fact that you even had to post a poll up and ask speaks volumes (not a criticism of you, but at our values).

    If you want a dildo shoved up your arse, all good fun. If you don't, it's anal ****. The same as if he mounted the stripper, got a dildo out and did the same to her. In fact, you could ask this another way:

    Q: Girls, if a bloke gets on your back, rides you like a horse and then shoves a dildo in your arse, despite your requests for him not too, should you consider yourself to have been violated?

    It's strange when as a society we accept that sexual violence against a woman is to be abhored, yet when a woman either assaults or attacks a man (and statutory **** when it's a minor) everyone giggles in a corner.
  2. Unfortunately, whenever men complain about being sexually assaulted or harrassed by a woman they are often met with the comment "What are you complaining about? You should've enjoyed it."

    Only men commit sexual assault
    Only men commit domestic violence
    Only men are adulterous
    Only men are capable of sexual harrassment and discrimination
    Only caucasians are racist
    Only Muslims commit atrocities in the name of religion

    The myths continue....
  3. He is a bit of a Goose, for whinging about it. He was at a Boozy Party, with his mates. The" Entertainment ", in which he was a willing Participant, went too far towards the end.
    If it were me, I would have another Beer, Party On, and say Nothing to anyone, ever...
  4. hmmm... tough one

    What colour was the dildo?
  5. It wasn't a dildo, it was the handle of a whip. Double ouch.

    If he has taken this all the way to the courts, despite all the "you should have enjoyed it mate" comments, then he obviously thinks that he's been violated.

    It takes a lot for a **** victim to relive their trauma in an open court, not to mention have it questioned. (Hence the reason several rapes are not reported)
  6. I don't really know if you're having a giggle or your serious.

    So, if a woman attends a male strip show, gets a little drunk and the strip act then shoves a whip handle in her butt, it's ok? I mean, she was a willing participant until that time, wasn't she?
  7. I agree that **** is ****, and that this case deserves to be heard by a jury.

    I do think though that if a woman has intentionally joined in a performance that has her naked, and a bloke behind her making simulated thrusting movements, also naked, and then penetration occurs, although it's a violation it's a different situation to if a woman is grabbed on the street while going about her business and dragged into the bushes. Same applies here.

    (just incidentally the poll is a bit logically flawed, since it asks if woman -> man **** is the same as man -> woman ****, so both the answers 'Yes' and 'Same' mean the same thing)
  8. I think it depends on how opposed to certain behaviours you are. Some people are pretty straight laced and don't even like porno..... for me I love p0rn and probably would have laughed and called her a dirty biatch. However if a guy had of done the same thing to me I would be pretty pissed off. I can see how someone could call that ****... and I can see how people would say just laugh it off.

    It's a touchy subject as there are many people who have been abused quite badly as kids and this type of thing would bring back too many bad memories
  9. And most judges reflect those differences in the severity and duration of sentences.

    In this case, the man (allegedly) told her NOT to do what she was about to do. At that moment and from then onwards, she was going against his wishes. He was not in a position to stop her and she was therefore violating him. It's exactly the same as if a bloke was going out with a girl, a little foreplay turns into some other stuff and then just as he's fumbling around she says 'no, I don't want to do this'. In times previous, blokes would just think 'yes you do, just let me....' regardless of her wishes. Thankfully we've moved beyond that and most blokes now understand and accept that 'No' means 'No' and that any activity subsequent to that could then be treated as sexual assault.
  10. A point to note, in your poll it says Yes, and Same. They are the identical answers to your question....

    Oh, and its the same.

    But a very very very valid point from rourkster. So many stupid myths
  11. Yep its bullshit just have to look at the cases or older man teacher with student verses older woman teacher does student and look at the differant penalties.Not that i endorse teachers doing there students especially since i am no longer at school :shock: .Butt i think she should be punished at the least charged with (sexual assalt) butt she did **** someone so the charge of **** if proved should stick.If she doesnt like that send her to barwon jail and bend her over until she realises that dont do it means No :cool:
  12. I still don't get why this happened to the best man and not the groom... I thought the groom was the one who was supposed to be put in these *interesting* situations..

    Oh and if anyone says no its ****
  13. yes of course it's r_ape (stupid prudish American forum software). Being married to a sexual assault counsellor who has been working in the field for nearly 20 years, I've heard more stories than I care to think of. The really unusual thing about this is that the guy concerned has the guts to pursue this through the courts. He'll cop a lot more sh1t about this than you'd believe.
  14. It's not r@pe if you yell "Surprise!".
  15. Oh man, im laughing so hard but it feels so dirty. Ktulu, only you man...
  16. #16 Farab, Sep 10, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    She's hawt and she's on probation, wonder if a guy would have gotten the same sentence or even an ugly female teacher, NOT!:

    Debra Lafave
  17. I think it should be the same; but it is easy to see why society thinks it is different - i.e. men supposed to be physically stronger and tougher and women considered to be less of a threat to a man etc...

    Unfortunately the stereotype carries across to female paedophiles, whereby often the female perpetrators are dealt much lighter sentences when compared to male offenders who have committed similar levels of abuse.

    Can't see things changing any time soon.
  18. So if all the mates were egging her on surely they should be charged with **** too?

    Something fishy is going on with this story. I think the incident would have gone away but they decided not to pay her and it escalated from there.
  19. We probably should use the pedophiles/ephebopiles distinction if we want to get into the 'teacher sleeping with high school students' discussion. Pedophiles target prepubescent children, ephebophiles target post-pubescent youth.

    While there are still issues of power relationships and young people's capacity to make genuinely free choices, we do also need to realise that 18 is kind of an arbitrarily chosen number. There's nothing magical about that birthday that takes someone from a child to an adult - it's a gradual process that happens over years.

    So sex with someone in the mid-teens is demonstrably less of an offense than sex with children (even leaving aside the facts that teens' bodies have matured and are physically ready for sex and that teens were regularly married not all that long ago). I'm not arguing that it's a good thing, I think people should wait until their 20s ideally to be mature enough for sex, but clearly many teens don't.

    So the issue in teacher-student relationships is not sex and it's not pedophilia, it's power. The argument is that because teachers are in a position of power over students, consent is not truly free.

    Now whether we like it or not, in our society it is likely that the power relationships between an adult male teacher and a teenage female student are going to be quite different from those between a female teacher and a male student. So, all squawking aside, a male teacher *does* commit a more damaging crime.

    We also need to remember in talking about r@pe that yes, occasionally women do **** men, but it's very rare, and far more often it's the other way around. We should have *every* sympathy for male victims, and they deserve all the support and the full protection of the law. But we'd better be at least as outraged about the plight of the many more female victims.

    And finally, I was thinking about these issues a year and a half ago, and this is what I wrote: http://www.bravus.com/blog/?p=817
  20. Frankly I find that comment quite worrying. A female teacher, having an exploitative relationship with a male student is still committing statutory ****. I could argue that a teenage girl is just as capable of consenting to a sexual relationship with a male (or female) teacher, but the law has decided that they cannot consent. If there is no consent, that is ****. If you use the oft quoted concept that girls mature earlier than boys, it makes it even worse.

    What you are falling back on is this idea that a bloke should just accept it and that a inappropriate sexual relationship between an adult woman and a boy is somehow less wrong than the other way around. And that I profoundly disagree with.

    I liked the myth busting argument in the first page.

    However, in this instance the male told the woman not too, she proceeded anyway. She was attempting to humiliate him and obviously gained some pleasure from it, whether that being her exercising power or some sexual response.

    We need to get over this and accept that sexual assault is wrong, regardless of the gender of the victim and alleged perpetrator.