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When you're in need of help / listening ear

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by lowercase, Dec 9, 2010.

  1. I have searched on behalf of someone on this forum who's after some help. A listening ear and they've had a bad day.

    We've got the sticky for all the counseling services, but no matter what I searched for I couldn't find the one from a few years back.

    Please let this thread be there to help those struggling, and those whom have no one else to talk to. This forum is like a family and many people on here I hope will benefit from this thread.

    This is for people with depression, bad thoughts, or anything that's allowing them to be down and they can't seem to get back up quite so easily.

    Any jokes made about someone's thoughts, condition or stories will be reported.

    I believe this is a serious matter and I do not wish for it to stray off-topic so that those out there who genuinely need this thread will feel inclined not to join in or pipe up.

    I do not wish to see comments about how this is just an internet forum and how much trolling goes on. The last thread like this did really well and I don't want ignorant idiots posting on here making fun of it or putting it down.

    Mods - perhaps we should make this a sticky also so it's easy for people to find.


  2. I've been there and am always willing to be a venting outlet via phone, email or IM.

    Totally agree with Holly on this - there are some who are not in a position to talk to someone when they really need to. Having someone they can contact just to listen can literally be a life line for them. If you feel that the person you're helping needs professional assistance then recommend it but often its just someone to talk to thats needed.

    Well done on posting this Holly - I'm more than happy to put my hand up for helping.
  3. Been down the depression road - so willing to listen and talk - some people don't have the benefit of those close by they can discuss things with and sometimes its better to talk to a person not to close
  4. We're everywhere...
    I'm supposed to take daily drugs for mine, but I can't deal with the side-effects so I'm slowly learning to handle the black dog better for myself.
    I urge anyone who knows they're not feeling "right" to have an honest discussion with their GP.
    You have a few friends up there ^^ too, who just asked "Are you OK?"
  5. thanks so much for getting the new thread started hols....

    the old thread that used to be here was great for those of us who just needed to chat to someone supportive. it was great to get the pm's of support last night (well, this morning really). it was just one of those times - everything was going pretty well ok, nothing in particular but just suddenly my personal hole was opening up again. i haven't had a time that bad for a couple of years.

    last time it was all the people here on the thread who used to help no end. just knowing there was someone who not only understood but also shared other parts of life too (like the bikes).

    thanks again all :)

    i'll be more than happy to give back when needed :)
  6. More than happy to help here if needed,
    I understand most problems, as I have been through most of them myself,
    Send me a PM, dont discuss your problem on here.
  7. I remember the first incarnation of this thread, it helped many people along the way.

    A second incarnation is to be commended :)
  8.  Top
  9. yes, netrider can be full of trolls and whatnot, HOWEVER, it's also an extremely useful forum and there are genuine posts on here.

    As i'd really like to be here if anyone needs our help. If you don't like this thread, then don't post in it.
  10. Some excellent resources are available on the net... just a few off the top of the list:

    Forums can be found here:

    Or right here on NR. I'll be asking mods to mod this thread pretty closely... spiteful unsupportive posts will be removed. Obvious trolling will get bench time... but I'd hope the maturity showed in the previous thread will carry on here.
  11. Great thread! Might I suggest that if anybody wants to discuss the value of such threads - that is, anybody who wants to engage in any kind of debate which is beyond this thread's point of sharing one's experience or supporting others in their sharing - that such a person start another thread? It's certainly a fascinating debate to have in the age of the internet.

    In keeping with this, I probably shouldn't say it in this thread, but: seeing the readiness of people here to offer support to others, I should mention that Lifeline will soon be recruiting again in all major cities. Feel like attending some basic but high quality evening training, and offering your ear to others as a volunteer telephone counsellor? I used to - one of the best things I've ever done. Your kind and level of educational background doesn't matter.

    Anyway, great thread as I say! I've experienced depression in the past. One thing that sticks with me is the memory of shaving one morning, and suddenly having this vision of the endless future daily repetition of this activity, and feeling utter meaninglessness and despair. And that's one of the worst things about depression: you feel that this will be a permanent state. In reality it's a process which, at what ever point you're at, has already been in flux, changing. At some point or other you'll hit your rock bottom (in hindsight), stay there or go up and down for some time, and then things will begin to shift more permanently upwards. But how to keep what feels like blind faith, that things will change? The only thing you can do is find a way to cope. And it's important to realise that coping doesn't equate to feeling better. Coping equates simply to getting through, holding out, through this process of feeling terrible, until in time these feelings change and things get better.

    Of course, when you can't see your way out, and everything is complex and so big and overwhelming, then you're simple problem solving skills come to the last option on their list: suicide. It's perfectly normal to think about it, it doesn't mean you're not coping. But it is time to call one of those numbers in the telephone counselling thread: part of coping is reaching out for a hand.

    Two notable things that helped me were meditation, and buying a motorcycle (I already had my license) and riding through the empty suburbs at 2AM many nights. I'm not sure if I would have been capable of the meditation when I was most depressed, however. It really was a matter of finding a way to cope, and of reaching out to others for their support. What works for you is a subjective matter, it requires experimentation. ...might I suggest motorcycling? :-w

    I'm sure this thread can help some people to cope.

    Edit: PS Rob, thanks for those links, I sifted through the Beyond Blue site earlier and it seems online support is growing: not really for depression, but relevant to us gents, I had a look around this and it was interesting http://www.menslineaus.org.au/Forum.aspx
  12. There's a saying I'm reminded of that has served me well...

    If you feel like you're going through hell, whatever you do, don't stop!
  13. I've removed one post and the subsequent quotes and references to it.

    I'll be keeping a close eye on the thread, and any posts deemed negative to the theme will be removed.
    [ ie , A post is reported etc ]

    The last incantation of this type of thread helped a lot of people, so as Holley as asked if you dont want to contribute in a positive way.
    Then just dont post ](*,)

    Ps, this is not an attack on the view of the post/poster that has been removed so please dont take it to heart :angel:

    Also this is now a sticky so even if no one posts for awhile it wont drop out of sight.
  14. Thank you VTRBob!
  15. Ditto

    I've been there, done that as well and am well aware of the pain and stigmatism of mental illness irrespective of it's severity.
  16. thanks all for the support. just as an update things are still going ok - not 100% but better. now if the rain would stop and the bike would go i could go for a ride as well.

  17. That is extremely very nice of you chef. Thankyou.
  18. It helps to talk, I hope...

    I have very strong memories of a morning around 30 years ago, when I was in about Year 3. I was walking to school as usual when I passed an old man, hunched over and struggling along the street with his back almost parallel to the footpath. He looked miserable, and within about 30 seconds so was I - I cried all the way to school. It's been happening ever since and I never understood it because I don't actually feel sorry...
    In my 20's a hippie-raver friend of mine described me as an "empath", and although I don't often repeat the term I'm kinda happy with that.

    It doesn't happen all the time, but I've started to recognise that when it does, it usually means I'm on the way down.

    Yesterday I was approached on the street by a young fella with horrific burns scars all over his head, asking for money. And while I was emptying my pockets it happened again.
    When I woke up this morning I was right back in that moment, and feeling like I was useless so there was no point.
    I dragged myself to work (the ride usually makes me perk up anyway), but I'm home again already. Like I said to the boss, "I shouldn't be around people today".
    I have no appetite, no motivation and I know I'm not gonna get much sleep tonight.
    I also have a very high level of a certain body chemical that makes me agressive, competitive etc, and at times like this it gets to take over my thinking a bit. I get angry and sad at the same time, and the "angry" is the bit I still can't really control. I don't go trashing rooms and punching people (these days) but I'm not a person you want to be friends with...
    I already had tomorrow off to go riding, so that's good too.

    But apart from just going riding, I never know what to do next. And as much as I love it, I kinda think riding in these circumstances is just a way for me to be impossible to reach. In every sense of the word.
  19. Sometimes, the blues are like the weather, you just have to allow the storm to pass. Only you know what your "flavour" is like. If you're not displaying the classic symptoms all the time or regularly, then it's probably a passing thing. You can lock yourself away till you feel better or there are some things you can do to mitigate the depth of the feelings.

    A lot of people report that good sleep - i.e., feeling rested helps. Good exercise which releases endorphins helps take the edge off or blow the blues away altogether. Even a walk around the block can help. It might not be a long walk, but it's a small victory against the temptation to stay walled up. St Johns Wort, a natural supplement, has been shown to be able to take the edge of anxieties allowing ones thoughts to be more positive or clearer. Apparently fresh pineapple is a natural antidepressant too...

    Doing something you like doing and that brings you joy, is a natural antidote too, e.g. going for a ride - Only thing with riding is TURN OFF the self critical watcher - you're going for a cruise and might make mistakes, don't get down on yourself for making them.

    Call up a friend for a chat.

    Dial up comedy vids on youtube... the old "who's on first" always gets me laughing, even though I've seen it 50 times...

    Do something, fix that leaking tap. :)

    See where I'm coming from?
  20. Sorry to hear NiteKreeper, but good on you for posting - hold in there.