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when picking up remember

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Willzah, Nov 30, 2009.

  1. Drinks as personality pointers

    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks (and how you approach them if you're interested in them). Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
    Girl Drinks

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

    Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
    Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
    Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years... Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

    Drink: White Zin
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
    Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk... and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

    Guy Drinks

    Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut.

    Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

    Whiskey: He doesn't give two shits about anything but getting laid.

    Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

    White Zin: He's gay.
  2. If only i read this before that night involving a bottle of tequila and the spa.
  3. whatcha shag?
  4. long story short, I was sitting in the spa with a girl on each hand. On my right, the girl i had the hots for, on the left a friend (and only friend). Turns out when i was soooo drunk i couldn't tell my left from my right.
  5. ..*singing*..... you put your right hand in, your right hand out....your left hand in and you shake it all about.... :bannanabutt:

  6. If only i did put my right hand in...
  7. i was going to say "please tell me you either ended up with both"

    i guess u didnt get any?

    speaking of which, my mate sober, his misses was full tanked, asked him if he wanted a 3 some with another hot chic, he turned down the offer. opportunities you people get :(
  8. *boggled* hahah
  9. Did you biatch slap him for all the 'normal' guys out there? :LOL: