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What women really mean when they use these words

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. FINE
    This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

    FIVE MINUTES
    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

    NOTHING
    This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

    GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
    This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

    GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
    This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

    LOUD SIGH
    This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

    SOFT SIGH
    Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

    THAT'S OKAY
    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



    PLEASE DO
    This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

    THANKS
    A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

    THANKS A LOT
    This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
     
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  2. What do women really mean when they refer to someone as being a 'nice guy'

    :roll: :p :D
     
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  3. He's gay. :p :p :p :p
     
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  4. From my sister's mouth, a "Nice guy" is something that a girl laments after, when they're done being mistreated and discarded by dangerous guys... and it's usually used in the sentence, "all the nice guys are taken".

    :)
     
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  5. "Nice Guy" is can mean a number of things depending on other words used in the same sentence.

    It is true that a girl laments after a nice guy, when they're done being mistreated and discarded by dangerous guys. However, this does not mean that a girl wants just a nice guy. Nice guy used without any other descriptive words such as cool, hot, amazing (insert whatever the girl is likely to say here) means that the girl in question finds the guy nice and her type.

    If the girl is just referring to a guy as a "nice guy" and fails to add any other descriptive words (besides maybe sweet which is pretty much the same word) then as far as she is concerned the guy is "just" a nice guy and not someone she would be into.
     
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  6. Very good answer!

    The question sprung to mind after a (somewhat drunken) conversation in a pub in Mildura. Some guy was griping that he was trying to set his mate up with a few girls he knew but none of them were interested.

    The words 'I don't get it, he is the nicest guy I know' sprang up. At this point everyone at the table cracked up. Somewhat shocked, the guy asked 'Whats so funny?' to which the reply was simply 'you said the magic words "nice guy"'

    The last comment, rather tellingly, was said by a girl.

    :D :D :D
     
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