Everyone who has a dog calls him rover, or spot, or boy. i call mine "sex"! now sex has been very embarassing to me. when i went to city hall to renew his dog license, i told the clerk "i would like to have a license for sex". he said "i'd like to have one, too". then i said "but this is a dog". he said he didn't care what she looked like. then i said "you don't understand, i've had sex since i was nine years old". he said "you must have been quite a kid". when i got married and went on our honeymoon, i took the dog with me. i told the hotel clerk "i want a room for my wife and me, and a special room for sex". he said "every room in the place is for sex". i said "you don't understand, sex keeps me awake at night". the clerk said "me, too". one day i entered sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. another contestant asked me "why are you just standing there, looking around"? i told him "i planned to have sex in the contest". he told me that I should have sold tickets. "but you don't understand", i said, "i had hoped to have sex on tv". he called me a show-off. when my wife and i seperated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. i said "your honor, i had sex before i was married". the judge said "me too". last night sex ran off again. i spent hours looking around town for him. a cop came over and asked me "what are you doing in this alley at four o'clock in the morning"? i said "i'm looking for sex". my case comes up two weeks from friday! can anyone lend me $500 for bail?