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What men really mean when they say ........

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Azz, Jun 5, 2006.

  1. "IT'S A GUY THING."
    Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you
    have no chance at all of making it logical."

    "I'M GOING FISHING."
    Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a
    stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," or "YES, DEAR..."
    Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."
    Means: "I have no idea how it works."

    I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
    Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
    Means: "I can't hear the TV over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Means: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first
    girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
    I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
    Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."



    "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
    admit that I'm hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
    clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Means: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping
    desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the
    next 3 days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be
    worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

    "IM SORRY I DIDNT LEARN FROM THE LAST TIME"
    I posted all in caps again and I apologise; Im just trying desperatly to earn myself one of those super cool warnings.
     
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  2. love it.... if only i could find a woman who loved it as much as i do :LOL: :grin:
     
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  3. how insightful! those warnings are pretty cool. I miss mine :(
     
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  4. and my favourite one :p sorry Es :oops: :LOL:
     
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  5. Fish are stupid you can still catch them when your drunk you just have to keep your friends out of the water :roll:
     
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  6. I thought the idea was for them to go in the water as bait for the bigger fish :wink:
     
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  7. "Behold the Fisherman!
    He Riseth Up Early in the Morning,
    and Disturbeth the Whole Household.
    Mighty are His Preparations.
    He Goeth Forth Full of Hope.
    And When the Day is Spent, He Returneth,
    Smelling of Strong Drink.
    And the Truth is not with Him!"
    ~ Unknown
     
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