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Well, I think they're funny

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Iffracem, Mar 29, 2006.

  1. These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking
    for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least
    romantic second line:

    Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
    But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

    I thought that I could love no other
    Until, that is, I met your brother.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

    Of loving beauty you float with grace
    If only you could hide your face

    Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
    This describes everything you are not

    I want to feel your sweet embrace
    But don't take that paper bag off of your face

    I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
    Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

    My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
    Marrying you screwed up my life

    I see your face when I am dreaming.
    That's why I always wake up screaming

    My love, you take my breath away.
    But what have you stepped in to smell this way?

    My feelings for you no words can tell,
    Except for maybe "go to hell"

    What inspired this amorous rhyme?
    Two parts vodka, one part lime.
  2. :):)

    how 'bout:

    you're charming, handsome, warm and dapper
    but i hate to tell you size does matter.
  3. :rofl: oh they are great :rofl:
  4. Thsi is my fave,

    Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
    This describes everything you are not
  5. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
    Luv it
  6. Just classic JJ, I'll certainly be passing on that list :LOL:
  7. Yep, it's a keeper!

    Good one Carri27 :rofl:
  8. One for Aprilia owners...

    "You look sublime, your motor's hot

    So why do you break down a lot?"

    :p :LOL:
  9. note to iffracem and twingirl ... in time you'll learn never to encourage me :LOL: (not that it takes much)

    you're big and strong and can make a decision
    it's a shame what happened with the circumcision
  10. You make me swoon, you make me lovesick
    Shame you don't know your head from your d*!k
  11. you're such a cool bike-boy, skier and skater,
    but frankly i'd rather enjoy my vibrator.
  12. Bloody hell Carri!!

    If you ever do stand up comedy, I'm buying tickets!

    :applause: :applause:

    Not bad Gromit, not bad at all :grin:
  13. :LOL: :LOL:
    Keep em coming carri :)
  14. lets see if i can make some up

    your mind is full of thoughtful bits
    but all i came for was arse and tits

    i'm not with you for your loot,
    all i'm here for is a root.

    rum, lime and a bit of luck,
    you just might be in for a...

    why'd you charge me for that ****?
    you said you wanted the sticky-tape

    you say you want to hear our song,
    i say i can't wait to remove your thong.

  15. oh, most romantic first line, and least second. woops, heh.

    i love you dearly, you are my honey,
    now hurry up and die, so i can have your money?

    your body is like a piece of art,
    lets have a laugh, DUTCH OVEN FART!

    i love you, even though your tits do sag,
    i love you so much, i'd even teabag.

    you looked so hot in that sporty hat
    that was 20 years ago, now you're fat.

    you'd remind me of a fun filled show bag,
    if only you didn't biatch and nag.
  16. Good stuff!!
    leaning towards crude... but heh! works
  17. My one true love, so full of class
    until you say 'stick it in my ...'
  18. ROFL!

    and the winner is... 7THSIN!