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warning: Dad joke

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by ibast, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a head- stone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!

    Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

    Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

    By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.

    Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously. "He's decomposing."
  2. This I expect from Hornet but you! :shock: :LOL:
  3. The funniest bit is, that despite the warning 54 people (and counting) have viewed it.
  4. I thought it was a joke for Dad's :?

    Did you mean Warning: Bad joke?
  5. The thread title was an invite - I love dad jokes!

    I drive my wife mad with them. Can't wait till I actually have kids.

  6. I thought it was funny, lame but funny.

  7. No I meant Dad joke. Dad jokes are special. They have they real groan factor.
  8. One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old friend I want you
    to make me a new Ark".

    Noah replies, "No problems El Supremo anything you want
    after all you're the guvnor'... "

    But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I want
    not just a couple of decks, . . I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

    "20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Boss whatever you say.
    Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

    "Yep, that's right, well . .. Sort of right . . This time I want you
    to fill it up with fish", God answers.

    "Fish?", queries Noah "Yep, fish . . Well, to make it more
    Noah, I want 'Carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"

    Noah looks to the skies. "OK God me old mate let me get this
    right, you want a New Ark?"


    "With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".


    "And you want it full of Carp?".


    "Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely
    getting to the end of his tether............

    "Don't really know , says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp-Ark
  9. /facepalm
  10. That was so bad, I think you gave me cancer.

    I was warned though...
  11. hahhahaahaahaaahhahaaha
  12. the 2nd 1 made me groan so bad i think i am injured, love your work :LOL:
  13. I quite liked the first one, but the second was terrible.....not terrible enough to make me a bit dumber just from reading it but terrible enough to regret reading it and now can't get 'Carp-Ark' out of my damn head :grin: :grin:

  14. I've heard the first one before but the second one made me laugh :)
  15. I love the really bad ones and let me tell you, that's a hard one to beat. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
  16. The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye.

    "Just Released: New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now!"

    Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.

    "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

    "Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

    The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."

    "I'm sorry sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step
    into the booth, I can let you have another few minutes."

    The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Five minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head.

    "I don't understand it," he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

    "I really am terribly sorry," says the young assistant. "I've just
    realised I was playing you the B side."
  17. QUESTION: What’s invisible and smells like burnt carrots? ANSWER: Bunny farts. :grin:

    Q: What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
    A: The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s
  18. My older daughter plays the violin and the younger plays the saxophone. The older one is always getting her violin out to play it and forgetting to put it away - just dumps it on any available surface. These things are not cheap and I'm getting sick of nearly sitting on it.

    The other day I said to both of them "Man, I'm glad we don't have a TV!"

    "Why?", they said.

    "Because you guys would leave your instruments on top of it all the time. And then there'd be too much sax and violins on TV."
  19. <GROAN> ](*,)
    they seem to be getting from bad to worse....