Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Virgins are few and far between according to al queda

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by smee, May 7, 2010.

  1. Shamelessly stolen from another site:

    Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
    on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
    in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
    produce an agreement

    The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
    of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
    by 25% this May from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was
    the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
    subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

    The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
    Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
    unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike
    action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
    are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
    don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a
    kick in the teeth".

    Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he
    currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,
    "We sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in
    a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
    realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

    Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of
    virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing
    expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd
    hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow
    themselves up."

    Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland ,
    Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would
    not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas

    Another reason for the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
    down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now
    that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen
    on going to Paradise .
  2. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

    But you better be careful, they'll put some sort of a jihad on you........

    Just look at what they've said to South Park creators.

    Muslim group warns South Park

    Unbelievable crap!
  3. My missus was until she was 25..... which coincides with the day after i met her..... sorry suicide bombers... one of you will have to settle for 59 now.
  4. I've watched the episodes that caused that (200 and 201), it was Santa in the bear suit. The whole idea of the two episodes was to make fun of celebrities (as normal for them) and make a point about not showing the prophet.

    Bit ridiculous, because in a previous episode (0504 - Super Best Friends) they had the prophet as one of the characters. Never even saw it in the media.
  5. Give me a real woman any day.
    My life is too short to spend time doing tuition.
  6. How did the entire european continent manage to get overlooked in this paragraph?
  7. :rofl: British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs! :rofl:
  8. To quote billy connolly: Give me 2 fire-breathing whores any day of the week.
  9. Good man that.

    Even if he did pronounce it "hoo-ers" :)