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Top 10 reasons to enslave New Zealand

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by es, Nov 1, 2005.

  1. 1. Why not?

    2. They started it. The Kiwi's have already occupied Bondi. What makes you think they're planning to stop there?

    3. But what about the ANZAC spirit? Yes, well, what about it? In World War 2 when Australia was fighting for survival against the Japs where exactly were the Kiwis? They were in North Africa helping the Poms...err, thanks mate.

    4. Economic bounty: the wealth of an entire, practically defenceless nation awaits us (see 9 & 10). And after the plunder – New Zealand’s entire economic output for centuries to come. ChaChing!

    5. Slaves have a million uses.

    6. Benefits to humanity. A quasi-human population (ie the Kiwis) available for unfettered medical experimentation would be a boon to research.

    7. New Zealand should always have been part of Australia. We offered them membership in the Commonwealth in 1901 and they turned us down. It’s time to remind them that Aussies know how to hold a grudge.

    8. If the US can invade Iraq and turn it into its own Middle Eastern oil-laden fun park, we see no difficulty in turning New Zealand into our own slave-filled South Pacific playground.

    9. New Zealand bases her defence policy on one simple fact: no one can attack New Zealand without going through Australia first. This is generally true but there is, of course, one exception…Australia. This deluded policy caused them to dangerously weaken their armed forces (see 10) because they believe we would never take advantage of their defencelessness. Such trusting innocents, the Kiwis.

    10. Question: Which has the better chance of stopping an Aussie F-111 bombing raid on Aukland, the Kiwi airforce or a flock of their beloved sheep? Answer: they both have an equal chance (ie none). Why? Because New Zealand disbanded its combat airforce in the late 90s. Bombs away!
  2. ROFL nice one!!

    But......Who looks kinkier,

    People who shag sheep, or the people that enslaved em :p
  3. HAHA - Yeah, because they then rented tham all to US!! Even better!!
  4. All together now; what is the New Zealand National Anthem??

    I Still Call Australia Home!!!
  5. Known to Australia as 'New Zealand'
    Known to the rest of the world as 'I cant believe its not Australia!'
  6. 1999 to be precise, New Zealand purchased 20 A4 Skyhawks in 1969, when they were already 15 years old, and operated them for another 30 years. Curiously they specified arrester hooks, (for landing on the carriers the Kiwis didn't have), and in-flight refuelling probes, (for refuelling from the tankers the Kiwis also didn't have). By 1999 they had lost 8 to 'oopsies', the last being the one that turned itself into a submarine off the coast of WA in 99', just days before retirement.
  7. Sometimes it's hard to believe that you have to show your passport to enter NZ. I've been there twice this year. I've only been to the North Island and they say the South Island is the place to ride. However, I can say that there are some terrific roads on the Coramandel Peninsula and up on the Northland, including the Kauri Coast.
    The exchange rate means our currencies are almost equivalent nowadays, so yer, may be we could come to some sort of arrangement/deal. :D
  8. I wouldn't mind because I could pass myself off as a Maori. :D :D :D
  9. Nah... couldn't have that.

    No real Aussie would get a chance at rugby union selection :shock:

    We already have one poor, backward, scenic island full of weirdo's and good biking roads (which I currently live in, and yes am decidedly weird)... why get two more?

  10. No, nothing to see over there. Wouldn't waste my time. Roads are shit. Tight twistie winding roads where ever you look. Takes forever to get anywhere. Mountain ranges to wind your way up & over in all directions. Not worth the effort. Isn't that right glitch-oz?
  11. Uh oh. I could be in trouble. I've only done 2 out of an 8 seminar series in NZ. 6 more to go over the next sux years. Oh, the agony of ut all. :wink:
  12. I had a friend who thought she needed a passpost to get to taz!!! shes lived here her whole life! *rolls eyes*

    Funnily enough, shes blonde :LOL:
  13. Not that there's anything wrong with being blonde.
  14. actually, my black haired friend from geelong did the same thing... maybe its a country bumpkin thing...

    shhh im not from the grampians!!!!

  15. arrrrghhhh, I need a microscope. :LOL:
  16. I just copy n paste :LOL:
  17. I got it. It came up when I replied.
    The Grampians are great. Long sweepers where you can go really quickly.
    I'd better get dressed and get back to work....
  18. I actually havent riden there yet. one of these days when im not pressed for time (i only ever go down to visit family n friends)
  19. My brother was there in the late 70's. He and a mate worked in a cardboard box factory with a pile of Maoris. When he came back someone asked him what New Zealanders were like.

    His answer: They're good - but it's those white bastards I didn't like... :LOL: :LOL:
  20. Hang-on...

    Tasmania is an island off of Melbourne

    Is New Zealand not merely an island off of Sydney? :eek: :eek: :eek: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: