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Top 10 questions noobies ask?

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' started by Chef, Jun 5, 2012.

  1. So you get your license, get yourself a bike, go for a spin around the block.....and it occurs to you there is a metric shitload of questions you now desperately need answered...

    ...such as 'what happens if I die?'...'will there be motorcycles in heaven?'...'what is the meaning of life if it's not to ride motorcycles?'....etc

    Back home you sit yourself down in front of your PC and with quivering hands make your inquiries to the all knowing great God of the internet called Google.

    The benevolent all knowing one called Google has heard your questions many times before and in time even his patience is tested, until eventually he directs your attention towards the Mecca of motorcycling Noobness that is to us mere mortals simply called Netrider.

    A couple of rudimentary searches are conducted, a witty username dreamt up and a Welcome thread is created....and then a volley of questions is unleashed.

    So let's have em, what are the Top 10 questions wide eyed freshly born motorcyclists birthed into our world ask? Anyone can play

    I expect nodding will feature high up the list.
  2. Why are you all so mean?
    Why doesn't everyone wear atgatt?
    Should I nod?
    Which glove first?
    Should I buy a hyodung?
    Are you hot?
    Will race replica clothing pull da chicks?
    What's wrong with my clutch pedal?
    Etc etc
  3. I nodded at a Harley rider and they did not nod back. What do I do next time?
  4. ....oh dear, I think i started a nodding thread
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  5. Which lams bike is the fastest?
    What are it's 0-100 times?
  6. #6 Salty, Jun 5, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2015
    Why does squid people be squids?
  7. Yes you did.

    Smee where are you?

    Top 10 questions? You've got me thinking back to when I first started riding on the road and what my questions were.

    From memory my first question was how much is that bike in the window? My second question was "where do I put the L Plate?", then "How do I stop the bloody thing from falling off all the time?".

    From there other questions were, how do I adjust the chain, how do I check the oil. How do I adjust the levers and pedals so I'm more comfortable.

    I was lucky and had quite a few mates who answered most of my riding questions before I asked them. They would follow me and then offer suggestions on how to improve my riding.
  8. Which oil should I use?
  9. (1)
    What bike should I buy?

    I am [num] years old, [gender], and I like [interests] and I work in the city and want to commute. Should I get a cruiser? Scooter? Naked? Roadster? Sportsbike? Adventure-tourer? Chopper? Road-trail? Should it have tassels on the end of the handlebars?


    ? - There's a search button? I don't see it.

    I think my gearbox is broken. When I stop, I stamp on it like 50 times, really hard, but it still won't go back into 1st gear. Is this a warranty issue?

    What do you mean I have to check the tyre pressures? Weren't they set right at the factory?

    Why can't I ask the shop to oil the chain when the bike gets serviced? Isn't that often enough?

    This morning, my bike wouldn't start. What's wrong with it?
    (With no mention of make, model, year, ambient temp, rider technique, fuel level, tap, battery condition, kill-switch, side-stand, clutch lock-out...)

    Why is it that nobody can see me? Did I buy the wrong colour helmet or something?

    This morning, a car nearly ran into me! Has anything like this ever happened to any of you?

    My Mum says if I don't sell the bike, I'll have to move out of home. What should I do?
    ... or My girlfriend says if I don't sell the bike I won't get any. What should I do?

    Why are nasty people taking the piss? Didn't they have to learn once themselves? All I did was ask if purple uhg-boots were suitable safety gear.
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  10. Counter steering. Steer left to turn right? Sure... What other sh!t you selling?
    • Like Like x 2
  11. How many roads must a man ride down, before you can call him a man?
  12. Where can I outfit myself with a (good) helmet, gloves, jacket, boots, and kevlar jeans for less than $500???
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Should I buy this 2010 CB250RR from Sumoto? Asking price is $8000.
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  14. How do I stop dropping the bike?
    How do I get to 100km/h when I'm in 6th gear by 70km/h?
  15. Will my arse look fat in these pants
  16. Is it worth getting a Hyosung?


    Who makes the best pizzas?
  17. What sort of bike should I get?
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Why is everyone do unkind to kittens?
  19. You want fries with that ?
    • Like Like x 1
  20. How can I get my knee down?
    • Like Like x 1