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To Go for it or Not ?

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by VTRBob, May 30, 2006.

  1. F**k Yeah

  2. I stayed for love once before and I can again

    0 vote(s)
  3. To hard to call

    0 vote(s)
  1. Been on the odie colone to my Bro's up in Syd following the sale nof mums house :cool: :twisted:

    Now the big 200000.00 question
    They have bought 100 acres up in Coffs Hbr
    with two huge houses already on the property.

    They have offered me the use of the smaller house ( 5 bed + study )
    plus the option to buy into business with them ( m/bike shop )
    * i cant go into much detail about the shop as its still under negotiations*

    Dazza ( youngest bro ) would take over the workshop with me out the front selling etc whilst my other bro Steve would filter between the two.

    Now my quandrie ......

    I know Nadeen is sort of keen on the move BUT her youngest son may throw a big spanner in the works and not want to move etc etc so he can stay close to his dad. ( which is his right and i would never hold that against him ) he's 16 loves m/bikes ( trail ) and we may be able to get him into the workshop as a apprentice, also we have full intentions of building both a supercross and MX track on the property hehehe
    ( surrounded on 3 sides by STATE forrest ) !! but that maynot be enough for him ?

    Now Nadeen will be torn between the two of us and that could turn ugly ?

    Now as either of my kids will tell you i've been wanting to get out of this State ( vic ) for 20 odd years but my late wife loved it here so i sort of got stuck.

    Now i have the chance to turn my back on VIC ( not the people but the STATE ) :LOL: and work too live very well, instead of working to live, and turn a passion into work and visa versa !
    But it could mean loosing the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.
  2. Nadeen, wheres that ball and chain? I have the cuffs (Bob didn't pinch all of them) so if we need to use them to stop him making this crazy decision then I am here to help :LOL:
    Bobsicle, you aint going anywhere babyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :p
  3. Bob this is a pretty seriuos question to ask and as I don't know you or your family [but since you are a Netrider you must be a good bloke :LOL: ] I cannot even think about giving you any advice.

    But what I will do is share my story with you.

    I have two step children and we all met up in Newcastle. When we got togethor we sat down and thought about what we wanted long term in life, having gone through one divorce I did not want another one. These discussions also involved the kids and their points of view were considered along with ours.

    We decided to move to the Mornington Peninsula as my long term dream is to have a small winery/events centre around the Red Hill area.

    It was tough on the kids changing schools etc etc but we got them involved in local sports and they seem to have coped pretty well, and then we had two more kids and life is ace.

    The two older kids used to see their biological father every now and then in Newcastle but now see him 4 times a year for 1/2 school holidays. They actually like this more because they get to spend an extended time with him rather than just grabbing a day or a weekend here or there.

    A couple of questions I would ask in this position: Are you going to too busy with the business to help the kids in the transition? Can you work with your brothers? I love mine but would probably kill them! How do the wives get on, this is the big question.

    Kids are resiliant and cope with change better than us old people, but they will push back and say I don't wanna go etc etc, you have to show them WIIFM [what's in it for me].

    Best of luck mate and make decisions equally on head and heart.
  4. If as you say you will be "work too live very well" then you will be able to afford a plane ticket or two so the little tacker and go and see his dad.....surely a plane ride every now and again would be a little exciting for him to offset some of his reluctance.
  5. my first question would be is what if the business doesn't make enough profit.... can you support yourself/do you have soemthing else to fall back on up there, to support your family? As for the rest of it guess thats something you have too work out with your partner and her son.

    Either way best of luck.
  6. Ok i didn't go into detail with Nadeens son,
    He's 16 and dont go to school or work, so there is no school transiton etc

    I'd love him to come with us, but knowing him so well he's going to kick and scream all the way , bc he'll be leaving his friends behind 99% internet !

    Im not going to tell anyone YOUR moving and thats final

    i'ts all up to them ( they want to be treated as adults they can start making there once life choices ) :LOL: :twisted: :p
  7. Offer him a job as an apprentice!


    But you know what even at 16 he still wants someone to guide him, remember WIIFM.
  8. I see where you are coming from, but its been going for 20 years and the current owner is 39 and retiring ! he took it over from his dad.
    and as everything is owned ( as in the 100acres and the business ie: no loans ) plus we are looking at doing something with the property as well.

    at the current 4500 profit a week ( not gross ) its more than compy for the 3 of us to draw a very good wage from :)
  9. In 10 years time, how would you feel if you hadn't gone?

    I don't think the son should be much of a worry. He's 16 and old enough to make his own decisions. Nadeen would probably be my biggest consideration, but if she's cool with it then what's the worry?

    Although you have commitments, you are entitled to as much of a life as anybody else ... and it's not that far away...

    I'd go, but that's me.
  10. I wouldn't presume to offer you advice either, but since you've asked for some(!)...

    If I were in your position I would sit down with both of them and outline:

    - the details of this opportunity, ie what exactly is on offer

    - what it would mean to you

    - what you think it might mean for them (good and bad)

    - what you would like to do.

    Then...give them the chance to think about it and talk about it. Sit back and LISTEN. Be prepared to reconsider things, or see them from a different viewpoint. Be prepared to be flexible.

    This is such a big decision on so many levels - I think the 3 of you are going to have to work through it calmly and carefully (if possible!).

    And it'll probably take a bit of time. I find you need to mull things over, approach them from different angles.

    It's great to have a dream. Good luck making it all work out (I'm sure you will)!
  11. That's one helluva situation there Bob, I hope you get what you really want and don't lose Nadeen or her son... best of luck to you!! :)

    I don't know many kids that wouldn't love to have a supercross and MX track in their backyard... :shock: I probably would've sold my soul at 16 to get an opportunity like that :oops:

    He's 16 and at that age "everything is meant to revolve around them" (viewpoint of a 16y.o) and the prospect of moving away from his father and friends would be likely drawbacks for him...

    I've had huge work and lifestyle change opportunities in the past but knocked them back for "love" :( ... a few years on and now being single, I regret those decisions more than anything... it's definitely not an easy thing to go through
  12. I say go, no matter what.

    Mainly because I want to come and play in your new back yard!

    Seriously though, I think when you lay all the information out in front of everyone, the right choice will make itself apparent.

    If the kid's old enough to decide he doesn't wanna go to school or get a job, he's old enough to decide whether he wants to go be an apprentice mechanic in NSW or a bum on his dad's couch as well.
  13. I think you need to break it down and look at the business first. It sounds like an attractive opportunity but further investigation is necessary. Have you looked at all the figures? This should tell you before anything if it is worth moving. Also you need contracts drawn up between the family so that if the business does not work out you have time to move out or make other arrangements. Do you have an accountant?

    Get professional advice!
  14. aaron, atthe same time mate, i did it the other way. i moved interstate for work and left my GF of 2 years who i was about to get engaged to, but in the end we broke up. i kick myself regularly for doing it. and there wasnt a child/youth involved in my situation either.

    bob. im too young to know what the right thing to do in that situation would be. i think gromit has summed up your best option to me, but im in no way qualified to answer that question mate. good luck.
  15. If not done already, I'd suggest to have the business thoroughly checked over by your accountant if you have one... if you don't then I'd also suggest for you to find a good Accountant to check over all the figures!

    If the business checks out and does seem as liquid and profitable as you've been made to believe, then you have a big discussion/decision ahead of you...

    Bob I hope it all works out for you and that you don't have to sacrifice your happiness or relationship
  16. No mate you got to have a dream. Life just isn't the same without a dream

    Yeh I have been there for more than 20 years. Gave up every opportunity that came my way because my ex wouldn’t move or didn’t like the hours I would have to do to get things going or just scared of change.
    I have a lot of regrets over that time and all of them are things I didn't do. No regrets on the things I did do. I for one, are not going to let that happen again.

    There is some good advice here, take it all on board let all concerned have their say, but the decision is yours don’t let anyone take it away from you
  17. Mate...... never easy is it?

    I reckon I'd be a financially rich man if I did what my brain told me to do, but I am a far richer man for doing what my heart told me to do.......

    Very tough decision:

    Make the move and possibly regret it, or not make the move and always regret it.....
  18. I hope it works our for u, i would go for it.

    I #$@$# love Coffs Harbour, if i was to move anywhere in Aus it would probably be there.
  19. How you do manage to end up with the big decisions mate? Damn...

    I picked up my stuff and moved from Perth to Melbourne because my other half was from here and wasn't ready to move to Perth to be with me. Do I have regrets about it? Yes. Do I regret doing it at all? No. Obviously this is oversimplified.

    I reckon get every last detail of the business stuff first hand. Flights aren't even $100 these days - go up there and check it out in person. Then you'll be in a better position to discuss and decide what to do.

    I wish you the best for whatever you choose here.
  20. You've summed it up really well right there!!

    Nadeen and her son haven't said they won't go yet have they? But if they have then the decision becomes so much harder...

    Money isn't everything, if Nadeen doesn't want to move up there or wouldn't be happy up there then you have to decide what's more important... the money and financial opportunities or "love" :? definitely not an easy decision