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Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Nucleotide, Jan 7, 2011.
ill have to see pics before i pass judgment on that
oh ffs. If yer struggling and she's worth keeping as a GF she won't explode if you make the reasonable request. Get on with it.
My g/f and I are not living together...yet.
Even before this is to take place, she has already offered to pay rent & assist with the bills. Initially I was shocked because, like you, it seemed wierd etc to ask for money.
In the true context of things, and I'm hoping there is a positive future for you both, she should assist in the mortgage payments in the SAME way should would be paying off a strangers mortgage if she was renting !
Tact, my friend and well thought-out points prior to sitting her down for 'the talk'
Good luck - this is indeed an interesting question and something which has no doubt entered the minds of many.
If she's 100% into you, she'll do anything (within reason) to keep YOU happy also.
Dude, you can't seriously be serious - get rid of this thread, want her to read it? Have you tried talking to her about it?
If your GF lives with you and pays no rent or you do not want it I suggest the following to protect your investments
1. Charge a nominal amount of rent per week even if it is just $10
2. Write her a receipt every week for the $10 give it to her but have your carbon copy in your rent receipt book
3. Have her sign the rent payment receipts ( both copies )
4. Tell her its a bank/tax reason you are doing it
EDIT - Do not forget to declare it as income to make it legit and ensure it is not used against you as if you are not declaring income
Great advice - thanks. I've had a couple of people suggest this kind of thing to me in the past to protect my investment.
thats what i was going to add. why one of the guys i work with moved in with his girlfriend, and she wanted to charge him rent so there was no way he could gain any of the house... or something to that effect!
From becoming de-facto?
Sounds like you're in a de-facto relationship. You're also a property owner, with a mortgage, debts, 'your stuff' and, a relationship.
Think carefully. Does she make contributions that are non financial? Is she your home maker? Does she cook the meals? Clean? Do your shirts and clothing?
If there is any sort of non-financial contribution to your life, as she is sharing it, as far as I am concerned she is assisting you to pay the mortgage and earn an income. Despite not contributing a cent to the house.
Paying rent won't 'cancel out' this situation, it will only be another indicator of her contributions. Unfortunately I'm not experienced enough to say whether this will be considered a contribution to the relationship and hence an amount she may partially recover from you when you break up, or simply an amount paid to you at an arms length relationship...i.e. not contributing to the relationship and so not recoverable. It doesn't cancel out the non-financial contributions though.
Sure, "she'll never break up with me, she's not like that". Let me tell you that every man & woman has it in her to be like that. I've actually noticed it to be more prevalent and 'aggressively' displayed amongst women. Trust no one with your money.
What a load of bullshit. I hope a lawyer didn't bestow upon her that gem of advice.
Nucleotide do you put the bun in the oven if so she is entitled to an oven discount.
If you don't. Then in another 6 months half of it is hers. Even if she is paying rent, and you are sharing the same bed, well yeah messy stuff.
Whether male female or inbetween I would have to pay rent and half the utilities. It's a matter of pride and face.
Mate a lot of problems can be sovled before they become problems if you communicate. And not just get across your point but listen tohers as well.
Great sex and communication is the key.
Yes. Get legal advice.
kick her out - tell her to get her own place
the best relationships between men and women are ones where you have separate beds
yours in sydney - hers in perth
Or do what I did ---- I put my house in my mothers name
amazing how many women loose interest when I tell them the house ( all 450 sqm) where I live alone is in my mothers name
Motolegion will look after her at his place till you need her again.
put her too work in the garden and lock her in the attic at night
Did I hear a 'NO SOUP FOR YOU !!!!" somewhere in there also ?
See that, he'll keep the weight off her too.
^^ What Bretto said, and Smokae too...
12 years ago I was in the same situation: my girlfriend was on less than $20K when she moved in, and I didn't have the heart to ask her for money.
She soon found a much better job so I asked her for a few bucks towards rent, and she had no problem at all with it.
When she got an even better job, she offered to start paying half.
I also think that resistance to a reasonable request to contribute should ring VERY large alarm bells, but I trust that won't happen to you