I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine. An agnostic is an atheist that doesn't want to admit that he is an atheist because he is afraid that if he does God will strike him dead. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 24 hours in a day .. 24 beers in a case .. coincidence? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! OK, so what's the speed of dark? I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.