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Thirteen Differences Between Men & Women

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Woodsy, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. 1. NAMES:
    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for
    lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will
    affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and

    2. EATING OUT:
    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom
    will each throw in a $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
    will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the
    change back.

    When the women get their bill, out come the pocket

    3. MONEY:
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
    need but it's on sale.

    A man has five items in his bathroom: a
    toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a bar of soap, and a towel from the

    The average number of items in the typical woman's
    bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these

    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of
    a new argument.

    6. CATS:
    Women love cats.

    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
    looking, men kick cats.

    7. FUTURE:
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a

    A man never worries about the future until he gets
    a wife.

    8. SUCCESS:
    A successful man is one who makes more money than
    his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    9. MARRIAGE:
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
    but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
    change and she does.

    10. DRESSING UP:
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the
    plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the

    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    11. NATURAL:
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    12. OFFSPRING:
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
    children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best
    friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
    in the house.

    Any married man should forget his mistakes.
    There's no use in two people remembering the same
  2. oh thats a cracker of a list.... loved it
  3. :LOL:

    Oh lord, how true.
  4. And, of course, there is one thing that women and men have in common

    They both hate women :LOL:
  5. Maybe Hornet, but they are still addictively intriguing!!
  6. I love cats...
  7. I like cats too, perhaps we could swap recipes

    I like cats, but I couldnt eat a whole one

    I like cats, they taste like chicken