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Thinkers Anonymous

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by mattb, Sep 23, 2006.

  1. It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

    I began to think alone—"to relax," I told myself—but I knew it wasn’t true. I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don’t mix, but I couldn’t stop myself.

    I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

    Things weren’t going so great at home, either. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother’s.

    I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

    I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I’ve been thinking…" "I know you’ve been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But, honey, surely it’s not that serious!" "It IS serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as university lecturers, and university lecturers don’t make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won’t have any money!"

    "That’s a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I’d had enough. "I’m going to the library!" I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors….but they didn’t open. The library was closed.

    To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, wimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: ‘Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?’ it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. It is responsible for what I am today—a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky’s." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed…easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

  2. I don't think I get it
  3. i'm a heavy thinker too. ever since the crash i've been out of work and all i do day in day out is think.

    it started out as a fun thing to do but now i'm involved in it. my friends often comment 'you do a lot of thinking don't you jax'

    it's good to see there are others who have a thinking problem, and that it isn't just me.

    hopefully one day i can get back on a bike, because you can't think and drive, that will stop me.
  4. yep guilty here too!!
  5. yep, i suffer from severe acute chronic thinking. you dont have to think lots every day to have a problem, but if you feel yourself needing to think, or thinking alone.....seek help
  6. only reliable tratment i have found is my bike.....:grin: takes my mind off other stuff.
  7. I can give up thinking any time I like, I'm not addicted at all.....
  8. didn't you give up years ago hornet?