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Things to say when stressed at work

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Milos, Nov 11, 2005.

  1. 1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf*ck you.

    2. You say I'm a biatch like it's a bad thing.

    3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.

    4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?

    5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.

    6. Do I look like a people person?

    7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

    8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

    9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

    10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless
    acts of self-control?

    11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

    12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

    13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

    14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

    15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

    16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.

    17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

    18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.

    19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

    20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

    21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.

    22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

    23. You look like sh!t. Is that the style now?

    24. Earth is full. Go home.

    25. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

    26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

    27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
  2. Will have to use some of them today :D
  3. How disapointing....
  4. dude. ew.
    And ben, meet andrew (milos) ;)
  5. Oh man, I really have to try #6 when answering the phone for the helpdesk :LOL:
  6. This is a local shop for local people.
    We'll have no trouble here...

  7. Loved it!

    Particularly fond of 7