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These are the laws of the natural universe

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by roundman58, Oct 7, 2005.

  1. ~ Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

    ~ Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    ~ Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    ~ Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    ~ Variation Law: If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

    ~ Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    ~ Law of Lines: When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in the checkout line.

    ~ Inverse Hair Dryer Law: You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background, until you turn the hair dryer off.

    ~ Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    ~ Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    ~ Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    ~ Theater Law: At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

    ~ Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    ~ Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    ~ Law of Natural Attraction: If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach, the family of five will set up right next to you.

    ~ Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    ~ Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    ~ Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    ~ Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    ~ Law of the Last Word: "Hey, watch this!"
  2. ~ The Law of the lost object; it will always be found in the last place you look.....
  3. Only because when you find it you stop looking.
  4. do you? i tend to keep looking, always find useful things while looking for other things. like flat batteries, dead pens, broken pieces of something that you just have to try and put back together, old pizza toppings that look nothing like they used to :D looking for stuff is fun
  5. Usually after you have given up, gone out and re-purchased an identical item to the one that is missing.
  6. Did that just last week with a mobile phone charger, now I'll have to keep the phone 5 more years to justify the expense of having two of the confounded things! (and guys, I was joking) :D
  7. I've lost (misplaced) two wives, does that count?
  8. Only if you never "find" them again... :LOL:
  9. is that an oxymoron? (lost misplaced)
  10. the paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to lose one wife is sad, but to lose two wives is careless :D
  11. NOt if you had lived in Pandora's Pinky Place (a shared house during 4rd year uni)....what I found while looking for string has scared me for life.
  12. Law of panel beating: Take a guess at how much it will cost, then double it.
  13. Sorry, mate, I can't resist this....
    Did you mean scarred for life, or scared for life? Funnily enough, in the current context, they're both accurate!! :LOL:
  14. ~The law of Motorcycle Accidents at night; the damage you find when it first happens is only a fraction of what you see in broad daylight the next morning.