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Then and now

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Woodsy, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

    1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

    2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


    Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

    1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

    2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.


    Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

    1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

    2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.


    Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

    1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

    2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.


    Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

    1973 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

    2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.


    Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

    1973 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.

    2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.


    Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

    1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

    2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.


    Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

    1973 - Ants die.

    2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


    Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

    1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

    2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison
  2. Scenario: Ktulu reads a funny post!

    1973 - He's not even born yet.

    2006 - Hah! Thanks Woodsy, those are funny :p
  3. Was Mary a young hotty? :LOL: :LOL:

    Good Larf thank Woodsy :wink:
  4. 1973: Ktulu's mum, not yet married, heaves sigh of relief

    2006: Ktulu's dad spends 100,000 on IVF treatment for Mrs Ktulu, only to wish much later that he hadn't...

    J/K old mate :LOL:
  5. If your a young bloke laying a teacher when your at school does it matter?? (didnt when i was at high school :wink: )
  6. Those would be funny if they weren't sad and true. Very, very sad. Happier jokes next time Woodsy. :?
  7. scenario - young bloke in HQ does dirty big burnout with drunk mate hangin' out the window

    1973 - Copper in really tight pants spots him, says "Nice car mate, give us a go and I won't foot you in the arse, by the way, throw me one of those stubbies would ya mate?"

    2006 - Friend is dragged from car put on several charges. Driver's car is confiscated. Political discussion on the dangers of P-Platers in high performance cars, (yeah coz a smoky 308 in 2 tonnes is more dangerous than an arrogant c***head who thinks he can drive because he has 4wd and traction control). Entire licensing system reviewed. Driver taken to court loses license for 5 years for dangerous driving, causing a hazard and deliberately losing traction and fined by the EPA for polluting.
  8. ahhh, oh sooo true!
  9. Scenario : Motorcyclist runs off road due to a car driver swerving at him, combined with a loose road surface: Damage, broken rear brake lever.

    1973: Police help him pick up his bike. Make sure he is ok, and that the bike is still able to be ridden. Its only the rear brake... Ride carefully home... Police follow him to make sure he is ok...

    2006: Police help him pick up his bike. Give him a ticket for wreckless driving. (this is standard police policy if you cannot ride your bike after an accident). He loses his license, and because of that he looses his job... Soon after he looses his house, and his wife starts banging a cop.