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The World as we know it

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Mouth, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. This one is especially for Jaqhama :wink: ...

    In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
    Australia, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
    over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me." Build another

    Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

    He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
    - but no Ark.
    "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
    building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the
    neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
    the height limitations. We had to go to the Building Appeals Board for a decision.

    Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the
    future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
    clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the
    sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

    Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
    Trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
    environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

    When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
    They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
    inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

    Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
    An environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

    I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission

    On how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
    Immigration is checking the status of most of the people who want to

    The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
    Only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

    To make matters worse, the ATO seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying

    To leave the country illegally with endangered species.

    So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
    finish this Ark."

    Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
    stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean
    you're not going to destroy the world?"

    "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
  2. Very funny, and sadly very true.

    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  3. You are dead right.