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The Upset Wife

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by egiste, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!

    "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me
    - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right now!"

    He replied: "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened"

    "Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll
    say to me!"

    And he began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

    She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the dinner I cooked for you last night, the one you wouldn't eat because you were afraid you'd put on weight. The poor thing devoured it in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

    Then, because she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

    I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don't wear just to spite her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because 'someone at work has a pair like them'.."

    He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said 'Please........do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

    :rofl: :rofl: