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The Truckie

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Middle Child, Dec 10, 2010.

  1. A truckie is driving down the Hume Highway, doing 100, when out of his window he sees a block on a motorbike pulls up alongside him.The amazing thing is that the bloke is standing up with one foot on the handlebars and the other on the seat balancing with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He motions to the truckie to wind down the window and immediately asks for a light. The truckie hands him the lighter and says, "What the bloody hell are you doing? You're gonna kill yourself!" and the bloke says, "Nah it's OK I only smoke one or two a month!"

  2. Right - retaliation.
    Roger marries at age 85

    At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
    Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

    After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

    After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride,bids her a fond good night and leaves.

    She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger Is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'.. And, once more they enjoy each other.

    But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'

    Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'

    The moral of the story:

    Don't be afraid of getting old; Alzheimer's has its advantages.

    To tell it properly, I should really post it twice. Alzheimers.
  3. To tell it properly, I should really post it twice. Alzheimers.
    oh - I did.
  4. Middle Child : GOLD !

    Kneedragon : Hahaha ! Nice mate.
  5. Thanks Knee Dragon, reminded me of another -
    A group of old blokes is sitting round at the club having a quiet beer, when old Dave walks in with an absolutely gorgeous 20 something. She heads to the bar and he joins the fellas. "Who's that bit of fluff?" they ask. "Pardon me guys, but that's my new wife!" he says. One of them replies, "But Dave you're nearly 70. You didn't convince her you were in your 50s." "Not at all", says Dave, "Told her I was 90!"
  6. Middle Child and Knee Dragon - all jokes made me :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :LOL:

    thanks :D :LOL:
  7. KD's reminded me of this one:

    It was the day of Bernie and Ethel's 50th wedding anniversary, and they were at the breakfast table.
    Feeling nostalgic, Bernie asks "Do you remember Ethel, when we were first married we used to eat breakfast naked?"
    So the pair of them strip off and sit back down to relive the old days.
    Bernie starts feeling a little amorous now, and says "Ethel, your body is as sexy to me now, as the day we met"
    Wanting to return the favour, Ethel replies "Bernie-darling, my nipples are as hot for you today as the day we met!"
    To which Bernie replies "Well I'm not surprised dear: one's in your porridge and the other's in your coffee!"
  8. I hope they then had wild sex :LOL:
  9. That's how I'd like to imagine it finishing - with porridge, coffee and floppy bits all over the kitchen.
  10. Oh man I'm glad i opened this thread!!!