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The Real Friday Funny - One Liners

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Oct 6, 2006.

  1. Seeing someone hi jacked the Friday Funny last week :evil: here is the Real 100% kosher Friday Funny :grin:

    Take a break..Smile:- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office:- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn:- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    Etc.:- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    Committee:- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.

    Atom Bomb:- An invention to end all inventions.

    Philosopher:- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

    Diplomat:- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    Optimist:- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

    Pessimist:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

    Miser:- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

    Father:- A banker provided by nature.

    Criminal:- A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

    Boss:- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

    Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
    And this one's the best !!! :

    You and me:- Who is paid for reading this mail.(of course, only valid
    if at work now!)enjoy these 1 liners