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The perfect wife.....

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by not_sane, Oct 25, 2005.

  1. A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The

    husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town

    and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey,

    I'll be right back." "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.



    "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife

    said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the

    refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12

    different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.



    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could

    think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they

    have frozen glasses..."



    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted Him

    by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"



    She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was

    getting chills just holding it.



    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the

    bar they have those hors'd'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't

    be long, I'll be right back. I promise OK?"



    "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out

    5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,

    mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.





    "But my sweet honey...at the bar...you know...there's swearing, dirty

    words and all that..."





    "You want dirty words, cutie pie... "LISTEN UP, D*CKHEAD! DRINK

    YOUR F*CKING BEER IN YOUR F*CKING FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERF*CKING

    SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT,

    ASSH*LE?"





    And, they lived happily ever after.
     
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  2. or at least SHE did.......
     
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  3. The topic for this post had me perplexed.
    Is there such a creature?
    Or are they a myth, like Unicorns, Trolls and Banshees?
     
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  4. I thought it was going to be a blank message :)

    Justin.
     
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  5. I prefer the following version.

    THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

    The girl said,"NO!"

    And, the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting and motorcycle riding on his new beemer and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.

    THE END
     
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  6. Is this an autobiography, roundman, or just wishful thinking??? :LOL:
     
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  7. I'd just like to meet the man and shake his hand.
     
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  8. Come on guys - this is a double edged sword.
    "you can't wear that out - its too tight, too short, too low..."
    "You spend more time with your girlfriends than with me ...."
    "You want to buy What, go Where, do that When?"
    blah blah blah :shock: :p :D
     
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