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The offside rule explained to women

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by slammer, Feb 26, 2006.

  1. With the World Cup coming up, it seems appropriate....

    You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the Shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

    The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

    Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

    The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

    Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

    She prepares to throw her purse to you.

    If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

    At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the Purse and buy the shoes.

    Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper

    Congratulations - You have just learned the offside rule!
  2. OMG ............. FARK MEEE. I think I had an accident.....

    Thats hilarious
  3. Hey, I'm an Aussie of non-ethnic background and now, finally, offside makes sense! Thank you!
  4. Thanks so much...now I understand!!! But what World Cup?? :)
  5. Soccer..... the one true football!!!
  6. As was once said by Robin Williams "Soccer that game played by damaged people"
  7. :LOL: :LOL: ditto :LOL: :LOL:
  8. any woman who has played hockey would know this rule also.
  9. i am a woman who plays soccer, striker in fact, so i know the offside rule. however, i've tried for years to explain it to my sister, who comes to a game every now and then. I've given up on her ever understanding, but armed with your analogy tomorrow when i tell her she will get it, finally.
  10. That's funny, wifey now understands. Thankyou

    but she had to read the last bit twice!
  11. LMAO :LOL: :LOL:

    Lucky I played hockey, soccer and footie in high school
  12. That is teh F$%@ing bomb... I was a soccer player, and couldn't beat that for a description to a woman of off side.