Law of Mechanics: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: When you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Law of Carpets: The chances of an open-faced peanut butter sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.