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The internet .. Helpful or just a hindrance ?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by VCM, Aug 11, 2009.

  1. Google

    When I was young and I wanted to know something, I was beaten for being too inquisitive. That's the problem with the young people today, they have a google answer for everything. If they had to walk to their local library every time they had something stupid to ask they would ask a lot less stupid questions.

    Google Images

    Google Images is useless. I used it once to search for a photo of farm equipment and it showed me twenty thousand pictures of horse dicks.


    I read a blog once by someone who had bought a scarf and he went on for about three hundred paragraphs about his scarf and where he bought it and how it made him feel. The last time I bought a scarf I wore it. End of story. I didn't write a novel about it.


    If I wanted to chat with strangers, I would pick up the phone and press random numbers. I tried a chatroom once and was talking to guy who claimed he was an obese fifty three year old man living in a caravan park but there is no way of knowing if these people are telling the truth.


    Why would I want anybody I don't know knowing what I am doing? I don't yell out to everyone in the supermarket "I am buying oranges" so why would I want to do it on my internet? When I was young, I lived in a small village where everybody knew each other and knew what everyone was up to. There was a fat italian kid who lived next door to me named Tony. One day I shot him in the leg with a home made bow & arrow from my treehouse that overlooked his yard and his parents called the police. Within hours the entire village was calling me William Tell. Having escaped the small town mentality for the last fifty two years, I am hardly going to advertise my movements now.

    The Bath Mat

    I realise this is not internet related but I cannot understand why it is so hard for people to hang the bath mat over the bath when they are finished using it. I don't leave the mat all soggy for other people to walk on after I have been in there.


    I have a photo album on my bookshelf full of faces of people I know which I haven't opened it since 1982 so why would I want their faces on my internet? None of them are even very good looking. I tried facebook to see what all the fuss was about and was only on there five minutes before some idiot poked me. It is easy to be brave when you are on the internet but if I ever meet him in real life I will punch him in the face.


    If I wanted a house full of cheap, dirty, second hand rubbish, I would go to a garage sale in Klemzig.


    People are always sending me all kinds of rubbish. Why would I want dozens of pictures of lots of love cats? I hate cats. I went away for a week recently and when I got back and checked my email, I had eight hundred and forty three messages. Eight hundred and forty of these were adverts for viagra and the other three were pictures of lots of love cats. I bought a 'no junk mail' sticker and stuck it on my modem but nobody has taken any notice.

    source: http://www.27bslash6.com/bill.html
  2. What's a "hinderence" ??

  3. corrected :oops:
  4. Google it. :p
  5. I did, and it said..

    "Did you mean: hindrance? "

    :LOL: :LOL:
  6. Waiting for mods to swoop.
  7. what is that supposed to mean?
  8. :rofl: