A man owned a small farm in Newcastle. The Department of Work & Pensions claimed he was not paying proper wages to his farm hands and sent an Inspector out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the farmer, "There's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. There is a lady who cleans and cooks she's been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board." "Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Scotch every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.." "That's the man I want to talk to...the half-wit," says the Inspector . "That would be me then," replied the farmer.