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The Gospel According To Ben

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by benji, Jan 28, 2006.

  1. And on the seventh day the Lord did ride his Bandit 1200, and it came to pass that he cracked a wheelie and he saw that it was good.

    So the Lord did ride from the garden of eden, over the black spur, until he came to the house of Honda where Satan was complaining that he could only do crap wheelies on his Hornet.

    And the Lord didst ask "Why art thou persisting with that crap? Turn thee to the light, and see that it is Suzuki."

    And Satan grunted, for his fork seals were cactus from crash landing crap wheelies, and he was of foul humour.

    Seeing this, the Lord didst smoke the tyre all the way into fourth, and lo! Satan was enshrouded in a curious blue mist that not being of oil, didst confuse him, and he was unable to see the light.

    And so it came to pass that Satan remained loyal to the house of Honda.


    (stolen from a ford v chev gag)
  2. :-s

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  3. And yea, verily, doth God ride a Suzuki Bandit.

    For it taketh a patience and tolerance beyond mortal powers to put up with the clattering of loose plastic panels that doth drown the choir of angels above.

    And lo doth it require Godly wisdom to explain how an engine from thine Suzuki factory should be restricted to 80 percent of its power potential by the pipe the factory provideth.

    And forthwith shalt thou notice that Satan himself shall continue to ride a Hornet, for Satan feareth not our Earthly laws, and hence desireth a steed which is his equal in the causing of mischief and mayhem.

    Fie thee, white-Bandited Lord, back to thine heaven of white fluffy clouds, harps and legal obedience. The tarmac is not for thee, it is for Satan's Hornets and the mortals that dare tame them. Long may we salute your absence by waving our front wheels at the sky.
  4. jeez you're a stirrin' wacker Loz :LOL:

    Hey how does a righteous bloke ride a satanic Hornet? Should I sell??? Will I be possessed?

    {Hear the one about the bloke who couldn't afford to pay his exorcist, and got re-possessed?}
  5. With.... GREAT.... care. :twisted:

  6. I'm gonna be in Melbourne in a coupla weeks and I think that comeback deserves a beer. I'll let you know when I'm coming down.

    :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: [-o< [-o< [-o<
  7. Hahaha yer on bro...

    Crap wheelies at high noon!
  8. What time is coffee at southbank on a fri night? Just found out we're coming down on the mother in laws birthday yippee so i'll probly get stuck there on fri night (what fun). But if i can get away i will.
  9. Normally start arriving from 5:30. if you go there at 6-6:30 you can garrentee there'll be plenty of people to talk to. How late you stay really depends on how much you like your mother in law. :LOL:
  10. Do they have camp sites there? :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  11. I gots a bed near the city if ya need a place to crash...
  12.  Top
  13. How far do U live from Bright?
  14. Depends how you ride :LOL:

    About 30-40 mins I think. Its been a while since I've been straight there. Normally I do a round trip of the area. Myrtleford, Bright, Beechworth, Yackendandah and home is a great ride. Only takes a coupla hours.
  15. Missus just told me i'm wrong. Its probly 30-40 to Myrleford from here then another 20-30 from there to bright. When I'm up that way i'm almost always on the bike and couldn't give a rats ass how long it takes. Its to good a ride to worry about time. :)
  16. Haha that is pretty classy. Gotta love loz's comeback. Dissing each others rides is so funny ^_^