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The drunks drinks

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Kraven, May 17, 2006.

  1. Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

    The results:

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won't have to approach her.
    If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................

    Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
    Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
    Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

    Drink: White Zinfandel
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
    Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
    totally drunk... and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

    Drink: Tequila
    No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

    THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
    The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

    Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

    Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

    Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

    White Zinfandel: He's gay!
  2. you are so the biatch
    and whats White Zinfandel?
  3. Sorry m'lady :LOL:

    I think its a wine (I don't drink it ;) )
  4. I think its the yanks equivalent of our passion pop, cheap cask wine or cheap champagne
  5. Hmmm, on the very rare occassion I will have a drink it will be a beer...I reckon they are spot on with their assessments :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  6. So..........wanna play pool??
  7. Well I would Rourkster, always up for a game, but I think we live a bit far away from each other :LOL:
  8. Shots and mixed drinks for me :shock:
  9. drinking? ok I'll have Gin shots and lime slices... mm mm mmnm nmnmnmnmn mnmnnnnnnn.... \:D/

    Then a steady pint and a half per hour of Guiness for the rest of the night... MMmMM Mmnnn black gold. :beer:

  10. Ah - nothing like a nice drop of Chateau Le'Cardboard.

    Every under agers weapon of choice :grin:
  11. East Nowra Hand Bag
  12. Zinfandel is just a variety of wine made from the Zinfandel grape (who would've guessed it). It can be a good wine, but it can also has the tendency to be mass produced.

    Go the silver pillow!

    Now that's definitely one aspect of college I will not miss.
  13. Regularly seen at legends (leftovers) night club....haha
  14. Bellambi Breifcase or shellharbour handbag
  15. Internet pool - I just broke and I'm on smalls......
  16. Mmmmmmm... Go the Heineken!
    After last nights efforts with bikie... I have to add Wild Turkey to this list. :LOL:

    Any decent bourbon... older than 8 years if its going... but hey, it's bourbon!!

    Boys ....
    try and stay away from any girls drinking biatch Piss or Tart Fuel!!!
    They cant drink and will more than likely throw up .... or like a I saw one blind drunk girl do... go up and ask a wheelchair bound guy to dance... THAT ladies & gentleman was the highlight of the night... cos she couldn't work out "why he wouldn't just stand up and dance"... FARK ME.. I still laugh at that!