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The Difference!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Azz, May 16, 2006.

  1. Again, eswen is uberly cool for fixing my thread! i promise no more all capitals for my thread titles :)

    If Jane, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Jane, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.

    If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh1t-Head and Four-eyes.

    When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for 32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,shaving cream,razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals, and then only if they are his own.

    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.
    C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
    ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW

    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
  2. So true :roll:

    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  3. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: Yeah i do it keeps waking me up at 6-7 in the morning and keeps bumping into me and not to mention the mid waist tackles that usually ends me on the floor....holding my manhood
    but wouldnt trade it for the world..... :grin: :grin:
  4. hehehe... sorry Es... no more "all capital letters in my thread titles!!" I promise :wink: