A recently deceased man, after arriving at the pearly gates and being admitted by St. Peter, asked "What are all these clocks? Why do they all show different times?" St. Peter explained. "Every person has a lie clock which advances each time they tell a lie. That one with both hands pointing to twelve was Mother Teresa's clock. She never told a lie. The one over here with just a few 'minutes' showing was Abraham Lincoln's clock. He only told a few lies." The new arrival pondered this information, then asked "Where is George Bush's clock?" St. Peter replied, "Oh, Jesus has that one in his office. He's using it for a ceiling fan."