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The Application Of Backpfeifengesicht (or, The Tale Of How My Bike Was Nearly Stolen)

Discussion in 'Your Near Misses - A Place to Vent' started by hackavatar, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. Greetings all,

    Felt this didn't quite suit the "Stolen bikes" thread, mods please move if I was mistaken.

    The other night my beloved mistress was nearly taken from me. I had parked it in a secure car park near Indooroopilly, and returned to it just after midnight, where I interrupted two delinquents doing their best to lift it into the back of a stolen white Hi-Ace.

    Seeing with the raging fire of a thousand suns, I succinctly expressed how I did not approve of their actions, while their taste in motorcycle was to be commended. Anyway, the short altercation ended with injuries to both parties, the bike being dropped out the back of the van. After pursuing them down the road on foot (as one had fled on foot, the other in the van), they managed to escape. They were sighted about five minutes later down the road, scoping out the situation. Clearly, they had not been burdened with an overabundance of education.

    The police five minutes down the road were called via 000 by bystanders in the carpark during the incident, and they promptly and efficiently arrived some thirty minutes later. One officer did his misguided best to put the windshield back into place while claiming that he "didn't know much about bikes, but you'll never catch [me] on one, things are death traps". With one swift sentence, he lost his respect and right to speak to me.

    The bike was dusted for prints, photographed and the surveillance footage was taken, as the whole thing was caught on multiple cameras. I later had the opportunity to view the surveillance footage and had I been twenty seconds later it would have been gone. They had managed to drop it on both sides while dragging it into the van, and then again when I arrived.

    The bike itself is damaged on most plastics, as well as the exhaust and pegs. I did have Oggy knobs and swingarm knobs so it was much better than it could have been. I have full comprehensive insurance which I have filed a claim for, but I am still waiting to hear back. With the sheer amount of evidence (footage, police report etc) I am hopeful it shouldn't be a problem.

    So, here are the things I have learned:
    • Lock your steering. Looks like it makes it a biatch to drag.
    • The rear disk lock didn't bother these guys, since they didn't take it out of gear either. They just dragged the ~200KG of R1 and fuel.
    • Being in a well lit area with security cameras didn't bother these guys either. It appeared that between them they had two braincells to rub together, so they probably guessed that they were fake, or they didn't notice them.
    • Don't count on a fast response from the boys in blue. Later checking in at the cop shop I waited an hour to talk to someone, as the guy in front of me was listing every piece of camera equipment that he left in a taxi. I was told to "blame the government" for the wait by the officer at the desk. Weekday, 3pm.
    • During the incident I was seeing nothing but fire and rage and the storm in the heart of the sun. I did not have a second to think about the possible outcomes of the incident. Later I realised how badly the situation could have gone if they had a knife or gun, or if I was significantly further outnumbered. Since very few people knew where I was, or were expecting my return, I would not have been reported missing for quite some time. In retrospect, this shook me.
    • Have insurance.
    • It really only takes about forty seconds for a van to pull up, open doors, put a bike in the back, and leave again.
    Thus far, the police have not found anything. I am not hopeful, despite fingerprints and camera footage. I realise that an attempted theft of my beloved property does not rank very high in a list of police priorities, yet I find this disappointing.
    • Bike is a black and gold Yamaha R1, 2010. Notable modifications include Akroprovic exhaust, Oggy knobs, swingarm sliders, RHOK lights.
    • Debauched heathen #1 was a Caucasian male wearing long sleeved blue shirt, white logo (can't remember what). Roughly 185cm tall, maybe late 20's, number one haircut, unshaven.
    • Piteously inept plebeian #2 was Caucasion male, under 21, 165cm tall, white cap, grey shirt with that fcuking stupid stretched v-neck.
    I apologise for the lack of juicy details, but I am not yet certain how safe it is to release certain information. If anyone has any useful information relating to these flagrant, thick-headed scoundrels of loathsome repulsiveness, please deliver it to myself (or the police, I guess) for a cash reward. Or their heads in a bag, whatever.

    Looking forward to being back on the road! Thanks for sticking with the long read.

    tl;dr: Bike nearly got nicked, snapped a carrot, police up their usual standards, waiting on insurance.
    • Like Like x 12
  2. good shit....got in a blue with two blokes who were trying to nick your shit...came out relatively unscathed and got to keep your bike...impressed
    • Like Like x 3
  3. I interrupted an attempted robbery at my place of work some years ago.

    You are right when you say you only think about the consequences afterwards.
    In my case the two thieves were armed with a sledgehammer and a crowbar, and promptly dropped them both when confronted and ran off. If they had made a stand, i would have been armed with a biro. Not an even match.
    The cops seemed concerned that i was wasting their time, as they didnt take anything, and it made them work harder. Needless to say they were never apprehended.
  4. Get the footage and send it to A Current Affair order somewhere.
    Any alarm on the disc lock?
  5. Predictive text. Arghhh
  6. Well done defending your property. It's a pity there was damage in the process, but a much better outcome than the likely other option, that being gone. A properly disappointing response from the police officers who attended. Thousands of dollars worth of property damaged in an attempted theft, and they seem to care very little. You would expect more.
  7. There is an alarm in the disk lock, but it's bloody terrible. Never buying an "Oxford Screamer" again - the name should have been a give away.

    Sure, I could send it in to be one of those ACA stories, might even get some cash for it. But would it actually get a result? Kinda feels like I'd be whoring myself out to those shows. Never liked them.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. You know they say the pen is mightier than he sword right??? :)
  9. Probably just as well YOU didn't have a weapon, or one of these dregs would have charged YOU with assault, and his family would have sued you for mental anguish while their vile spawn recovered in hospital

    word to the wise, though, and thanks for the reminder, it's very easy to steal a bike if you have two people and a ute or van....
  10. I agree. The retrospective "Oh, if I had a cricket bat..." or "Damn, I should have done this instead" have been hitting me hard enough this week :p It's easy enough to say I would have shot them in the kneecaps and waited for the police to arrive, but in the blindness of the moment, it probably would have ended very differently.

    I was very cautious as to what I told the officers at the scene, and what I have posted here in case it lands there. It was obvious that there had been fisticuffs, and I was not going to deny it. This said however, the other officer that was there said he "would have backed me" when discussing it.

    Edit: Of course, the official QPS position is that a member of the public should not engage in altercations with suspicious members of the public and should notify police immediately...

    I do have some martial arts experience, and the general rule of thumb is 1) don't start anything, and 2) don't go further than what you judge the opponent to go. Ie, if they're gunna stab you, you stab them right back, but don't shoot them. I don't feel that my actions were over the top or unnecessary, I did get the shit kicked out of me too :p

    Hope this makes sense.
  11. Except that if it picked up and they are identified your excess is saved.
  12. If they are dead you can say whatever the hell you want.

    Well done and best wishes for a speedy resolve.
  13. @ OP - very well described account - well done for keeping your head.

    I hope they get the bastards......although, like you, I am not holding my breath.

    Good luck with getting it all sorted out mate. Chin up :D
  14. I think bullet point number 5 is the most significant. Understandable that you were seeing red at the time, but a bike is insured and replaceable, and you, to your nearest and dearest, are most definitely not.

    Hope it gets sorted for you quickly, and the bastards involved reap the Karma that's coming their way real soon.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. You sir are quite the word-smith! It's a pity that people have to endure such crap from leeches of society but that's one of the reasons for taking out insurance. Doesn't alleviate the inconvenience but it serves its purpose.

    PS. A guy I went to college with back in the dark ages disturbed a would-be thief trying to steal his cage and managed to crash-tackle him and perform a citizens arrest. However, the outcome was that he ended up with HEP-B for his troubles as this occurred in an tar & gravel car park and both ended up scraped and bloody.
  16. #16 krabi, Nov 25, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Good outcome (besides the injury to both parties bit). However, make sure you take someone to back you up next time like our repo friends here :p

    I like to see that!
  17. #17 waedwe, Nov 25, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Problem is you never know who you are dealing with, just ask this guy
  18. Thanks for the words of support guys. I agree, you never know who or what you are going to encounter. After talking with people this week, it's apparent that this was probably the best possible outcome of the whole scenario - despite what it seemed at the time.

    There's still no update from the police, despite my pestering. The insurance company should be calling me today to arrange a time to check out the bike.

    Most of the people around me figured that I would simply get hurt or killed by riding, not through my defence of riding!

    In related news, I'm glad I'm not a repo man.
  19. Wow, well done on defending your bike without getting too much hurt yourself! I'm sure I'd be way too scared to do anything like that...

    Backpfeifengesicht :joyful: Haven't heard that since I left high school, one of my teachers always used those old-fashioned words :)
  20. ...bloody entertaining write up!... sorry about the situation tho!...:eek: