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That time of year...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by TonyE, Sep 27, 2011.

  1. OK - time for the Collingwood jokes again...

    Number 1.

    A Carlton supporter used to amuse himself by scaring every Collingwood supporter he saw strutting down the street in the obnoxious black & white shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and swerve back just missing them.

    One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"

    "I'm going to give mass at St. Francis church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and they continued down the road.

    Suddenly, the driver saw a Collingwood supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back into the road just in time.

    Even though he was certain that he had missed the bloke, he still heard a loud THUD.

    Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the
    priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Collingwood maniac."

    "That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
  2. What has 100,000 legs and 3 teeth? The Collingwood membership.

    (And I barrack for Collingwood)
  3. That's OK, no-one's perfect...

  4. i originally heard that one but it was about a certain race, rather than collingwood supporters. this ones funnier i think lol
  5. Three hikers in the bush stumble upon the naked body of a dead young woman. They are distressed, but decided they should find a police officer. Before they go to look for the police, they protect the dead womans dignity by covering up her vital organs with their football beanies they were wearing. The Westcaost supporter places his beanie on her left breast, the Dockers supporter places his beanie over the right breast, and the Collingwood supporter places his over her crotch.

    They find a police man who joins them in the bush. He carefully raises the Westcoast beanie, looks for a second, replaces the beanie and makes a note in his notebook. He then carefully raises the Dockers beanie, looks for a second, replaces the beanie and again makes a note in his notebook. He lastly lifts the Collingwood beanie. Rather than replacing it, he looks intently for a minute, before moving to the other side of the womans body for a better look.

    The three football supporters get a bit concerned about his behaviour. One of them asks "What are you doing?"

    He replies "It's the first time I have seen anything other than an arsehole under a Collingwood beanie."
  6. AFL, thats the joke isnt it :bolt:
  7. History tells us that the toothbrush was invented by a Collingwood supporter.

    How do we know this?

    If it was anyone else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
  8. A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in Collingwood and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Collingwood fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Collingwood fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Collingwood fan,” she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Geelong fan, and proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Geelong fan?" My mum and dad were born and raised in Geelong, so my mum is a Geelong fan and my dad is a Geelong fan, and so I'm a Geelong fan too!" "Well," said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Geelong fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute, your dad was a drug addict and your brother was a car thief, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary said, "I'd be a Collingwood fan!
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