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Tennis elbow

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by AF2AF3, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. A man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
    should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the chemist that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

    Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose
    your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00."

    The man figured he had nothing to lose except $10, so he filled a jar
    with a urine sample and went to the chemist. Finding the computer,
    he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started
    making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a
    brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

    You have tennis elbow.
    Soak your arm in warm water.
    Avoid heavy labor.
    It will be better in two weeks.

    Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
    and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if
    this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed
    together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the chemist, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:

    Your tap water is too hard.
    Get a water softener.

    Your dog has worms.
    Give him vitamins.

    Your daughter's on drugs.
    Put her in rehab.

    Your wife's pregnant.
    It ain't yours---get a lawyer.

    And if you don't stop jerking off,

    your tennis elbow will never get better.

    And this message is not too short!!