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Ten Commandments

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Feb 17, 2006.

  1. I figure since I'm in the God Bothering business that if I post this joke it might have a better chance than it did this morning

    God came down and first he went to the Germans and said, "I have commandments for you that will make your life better."

    And the Germans asked, "what are Commandments?"

    And the Lord said, "Rules for living."

    "Can you give us an example?"

    "Thou shalt not kill."

    "Not kill? We're not interested."

    So He went to the Italians and said, "I have Commandments."

    And the Italians wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."

    "Not steal? We're not interested."

    He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

    The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife."

    "Not covet my neighbor's wife? We're not interested."

    He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

    "Commandments? How much are they?"

    "They're free."

    "Good then, we'll take 10!"

    And then I said

    "I like a good religious joke! :LOL: Did you hear the one about the rector, the priest and the rabbi??" (not intending to tell the joke, just alluding to the fact that, surprise, surprise, I know lots of religious jokes.)

    Brian entered into the spirit of the thread and said: "You must add in an Imam as well, because you mustn't offend anyone......."

    AND THEN, the thread vanished...........

    Now, the name of my Lord gets used as curse on this forum on a daily basis, and nothing is said. Vigorous and spirited debates on matters of faith have ranged over pages unmolested.

    So, have a laugh at the Ten Commandments joke, please, and my response, and Brian's response, and if you have a problem with it, how about telling me, and not the mods, and if you are so thin-skinned about the mention on four ministers of religion in a joke, then consider how much more offended I am by lots that happens here, but I say nothing 99.9% of the time. When I do it is in the thread, NEVER to the mods.

    Lighten up people, for God's sake....
  2. Hahaha funny .. especially the last paragraph :p
  3. Thanks Jason, I always enjoy a pun within a pun :grin:

    I'm off fishing for the weekend, I hope. Enjoy.
  4. I prefer fun with a nun :LOL: :LOL:
  5. hehehe
    i like it
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  6. Exodus 20:1
    And Mod spake all these words, saying,"I am the LORD thy Mod, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other Mods before me. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them, for I the LORD thy Mod a jealous Mod, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

    And, on that note, I prepare for my imminent demise, as:
    The ignorant and unstable twist [the scriptures], to their own destruction. (2 Peter 3:16)
  7. Just as well, cause you'll be gettin' nun at all after that kiddy's born! :LOL:
  8. maybe it wasn't the mods but a fundamentalist hacker on a mission to virtually bomb out of existence all religious jokes and cartoons, who followed a thread from denmark to our very own tassie princess, to some netrider hoon posting their journey through tassie on to this sight (X-files music goes here) :?
  9. And when they're finished, send them my way for a booting.

    I hate how sensitive people are nowdays! :?
  10. :shock: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  11. Not a bad joke Hornet :grin:

    Good luck wif the fishing :wink:
  12. I got kicked out of scripture at school ... speaka da engrish? :LOL: Can anyone interpret?
  13. I have no idea what this thread is going on about or where it's heading.
  14. U have to know the scripture smee, so start going 2 church :LOL:
  15. kishy, When do u sleep
  16. Weekdays I sleep 2am-7am
    Weekends I sleep 3.30am - 7am :grin:
  17. I know the sripture mate :)
    I am confused with this thread, have bits been deleted?
  18. Not sure Smee. :?

    I just know Hornets had to post it more than once.
  19. Hey Kish. I just showed my girl the photo of you... Her reaction was priceless... "Oh No" . . .. . . "Take it off". :)
    She liked the pink dressing gown though. :)