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Telling mum I want to ride...

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' started by WadeR, Oct 1, 2008.

  1. Hey guys.
    I never really thought much about riding until a few months ago when the idea really took me: freedom, rebellion, cheap travel.... all the usual stuff got me really into it. (I'm 17 btw)
    One of the main reasons I didnt consider it earlier is because my dad was killed doing some off-road stuff with his mates when I was just a toddler and so my family has been anti-bikes ever since.
    So has anyone else been in a similar position? What the hell can I say to my mum?

  2. I don't think your mum will be very sympathetic. In fact, I think the mere suggestion will break her heart into many tiny pieces, and stomp on each of those pieces.

    But that's the thing about mums and feelings. They have to be managed.
  3. I started this thread last year when I was in the same position.


    Lots of quality advice there.

    What I honestly tell younger people who want to get into motorcycling is wait until you have your green P's for your car. It will means you have had some time on the road and can read traffic and understand the randomness of other drivers.

    I think learning about traffic and riding a bike at the same time increases your chances of a crash.

    If you decide to do it anyway, I highly recommend not diving into Sydney peak hour traffic for a month or so.
  4. dude. You are on your own.
    I wish I can help, but I really cant think of any good way.

    If your mum knows that you are he sensible kind, she might be a little less against it.
  5. I was told from a very young age that motorcycles were dangerous. My dad used to ride and has the scars and crash stories to prove it.

    I guess the best way to go about reassurring them is to show you are responsible and that you will continue to be responsible on whatever form of transport you use whether it be car/bike/whatever.

    It's a tough situation and I feel for you.

    Just remember though that you only have one family and its not worth having a bust-up over something that has emotionally charged elements.

    It might just be best to sit down with your mum and have a good d&m. It only occurs to many of us, years after the fact, that mum knows best.

    You might have better luck if you start out on something really underpowered, and show that you are familiar with all the safety gear AND intend to use it all the time.

    All the best mate!
  6. OK, thanks for your replies guys. I'll check out that link Rockjob.
  7. I would like to add that you can also show your mum you are serious about motorcycling safely by doing your homework. Read books, if you talk her into it, get as much training as possible, anything like that in addition to what junglist said about gear. Good luck, mate.
  8. Just do what I did and don't tell her, just rock up on a bike and say "hi"
    Yeh ok I copped a hiding from it but heard her saying later on that she liked the bike I had at the time.

    Just make sure you have all the right riding gear, and protection and as previously said don't head out into the busy traffic until you have some hours under your belt first. Least she can't yell at you for doing the right thing first and getting all the right gear.

    Also by the time you get your license and bike you will be an adult, theres not much more she can do about it once you are of age. Trust me this is coming from a mum with an 18yr old and I get told frequently that " I am now classified as an adult, and I will make up my own mind from now on" Yeh it kills you to hear that but they speak the truth. Gotta let go of the umbilical cord someday.

    Just my two cents worth anyway :roll:

    Ride safe
  9. erm i guess you missed the thread where some kid brought home a RS125 w/o the permission of his parents and they took his keys off him.. his sister even punctured his tire

    Freedom (yes), rebellion (not sure your mother would been keen of that lol), cheap travel (thats debatable. a shitbox corolla would probably be cheaper to run in the long run)

    but ... imho, try show your mother that you are a sensible kid. and maybe she'd allow you to ride :)
  10. that seems a bit extreme, i dont think my mum or sister would do anything like that.
    I dont think I could convince my mum I'm a sensible teen either. haha
    Oh well, I guess I'll just wait til I get a job and save up enough for everything and then drop the bomb
  11. dont feel too bad about it, its the balance of nature. you wanting to fly out of the nest, while mum doesnt want to let you leave. but once youre old enough youre going to do whatever you want anyways.

    i had all the doom and gloom too. At least 2 motorcyclists have even been killed within walking distance around my house, to my knowledge. luckily im in my 20's so im a bit past parents telling me what to do. You need to put it into perspective though. Living is dangerous. Driving, party drugs, alcohol.... theres plenty worse things you could be doing.

    Point Form: Theres NO convincing mum its safe. Just dont be stupid, and come home alive.
  12. I went through this aswell. My dad has ridden bikes his entire life, and has been into Harleys for the last 15 years or so.

    When I was younger I used to race motocross, gave it up at about 14, im now 19, nearly 20, on Green P's, never been fined or even pulled over.

    Decided to tell dad I was thinkin about getting a bike when I save up some money in summer (Im at Uni), and he was like, NUP, no bloody way, too dangerous etc etc.

    Now we go check out bikes, he tells me stories etc. And mum can see the hypocrisy.

    Just have to show them your keen and interested, and that your not just after a cheap thrill (i.e Gonna flog it till you crash or worse)
  13. I also had to go through this a year ago. Although, not under quite the same consequences, I didn't have a rider in the family, let alone a loss due to riding.

    It took me a year for my parents to accept the fact that i was going to get a bike. Just be very careful with your mother, as you don't want to hurt her.
    I quietly dropped the subject every now and then, showing that I was interested, and spent alot of my spare time at home, researching and looking at bikes, learning about riding etc.
    I swore to myself and to my parents that if i was going to ride I would always have the full gear on, so I started ordering my gear from overseas. One week boots would come, then a jacket and gloves.
    Finally they understood, and knew that it was something I really wanted to do. When it became time to buy my bike, my mum actually came with me to check it out. Now they are quite accepting of it.

    Good Luck.
  14. This sounds like a pretty solid idea. I'll just buy all my gear slowly over the next year or so and then by the time I have everything and my license my mum might not break my bike when i get it :p
  15. +1. I got my bike Ls when I had had my car red Ps for 6 months and in comparison to now, my roadcraft was zinch, despite a decent amount of driving. More driving experience when you're learning to ride allows you to learn faster and be more confident as you don't have to concentrate on roadcraft and the bike, its just the bike.

    In your situation... 'ouch' is all I can say. Such a sore topic, hard to know what to do.
  16. +1 to getting you red or green P's first. Theres so much you need to learn to ride a motorbike without worrying about concentrating on road rules. Having your drivers licence for a couple of years makes learning to ride eaiser. I got my L's the day I got my full car licence.

    BUT....if you really want to ride and it can't wait a couple of years, then show your mum your going to be responsible by buying all of your gear first, buy some riding books (Twist of the Wrist 2 is well liked around here) and just ride around your local streets for the first week or two. Also, riding with a mentor would put her mind at ease a bit. I did the Putty 2 weeks after I got my bike, and my parents were much more relaxed knowing I was going with someone who was experienced (such as hornet600). Hope that helps :)
  17. get your green car P's. everyone will say that.. you dont know how to drive yet so dont go kidding yourself. (No offence). i come from a racing family and can tell you that even without meeting you or your family your mother will be beaten up real good when you tell her. be smart and be calm.. bring it up and have a chat with her BUT.. make sure you liten to her and consider her thoughts about the whole thing.. she might think it is a good thing as im sure your old man must have had a smile on his face when he was out there and that could transfer to you.do courses and dont be a goose as bikes cant be hidden under your bed.
  18. Yeh thanks to everyone for their advice. I will most definately wait until I at least have my reds before even mentioning it to her. It will probably be well into next year before I have the money to get started riding anyway.
    Guess I just have to wait and break it softly to her.
  19. smart man.. now take the rossi posters off your wall
  20. Its never easy to change a parents attitude towards something, and given your situation, like others say, you got to just take it gentle with her. And get a car, show her your S-M-R-T when you are behind the wheel to build her trust. A lot of parents struggle with their kids when they get their P's.

    My mother was always against bikes... i recently bought one and now she is excited for me.

    She hated tattoo's. Like really hated them. I was looking to get one when i was 22, i had a couple tattoo mags, next day she is on the phone with me around discussing with my aunt how people who get tattoo's always regret them .... too funny (argument shortly followed). at 25 I made a final decision around the tattoo I wanted. Didn't tell her about it. about 3 months on, we were at dinner, I had a t shirt on, and she could see part of it.... was quite humerous... now she has accepted it. She thinks it looks great, but not sure if she really likes it on her boy.

    Parents often have quite strong opinions, and normally its just a sign that they care. As adults we can disagree with them and make our own decisions knowing the risks and consquences with our choices and over time they come to accept this.