Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Tech Support

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Stimpy, Jun 15, 2007.

  1. Ok Last one for the day :)

    Dear Tech Support Team:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

    I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

    Applications such as Gofish 10.3, Cricket 5.0, Beernight 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

    I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall ' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

    Please help!

    "A Troubled User "


    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that people complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!!

    It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

    It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support)

    I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

    I suggest installing the background application YesDear 2.9 to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .

    Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Presents 5.0

    STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support ..

    Dear Tech Support

    I am having further trouble with the Wife 1.0 suite of programs.

    Recently I installed the Add-On Baby 1.0
    It came with a 12 month warranty and a full package of additional features such as Cute Smile 1.0, GooGoo 0.8 and Sleepy8.0. Now 18 months old, the warranty has expired and we discover more and more features which indicates incompatible procedures in a special environment like Aldi 5.0 or Safeway 6.3. Most problems and error messages are caused by TouchAll 1.0. Tried to install Don't Touch 1.0, but no response. Yesterday I upgraded Don't Touch 1.0 to DOOON'T-TOUCH!!! 5.3 and installed an additional feature NO!NO! 5.0, no results.......it is only possible to stop TouchAll 1.0 by manual manipulation, which results in heavy error messages like Squeally 5.9 and Tanty 6.3 I Talked to a specialist and he considers that the problems are caused by the high data stream in an environment like Aldi 5.0 or Safeway 6.3, which results in a data overflow...... I see many parents running Baby1.0, Baby2.0 or Baby3.0 in similar environments without any problems... so how does this work???

    .....Any advice would be appreciated....

    Troubled User