Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Taste of freedom...

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' at netrider.net.au started by Praise_BUDDHAH, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. Hey guys!
    So.. My story begins few weeks ago.
    As a person who never has ridden a bike, or even touched one. I obtained my license through Q-ride by many hours of intensive one-one bike riding training. Since the first time ever riding a bike I fell in love with the exhilarating feeling of freedom. :D Now with my license, I planned to buy a bike but suddenly my parents have flipped on their decision and are against the idea of me riding! :cry: It's like giving a Dehydrated starving Ethiopian a cold glass of water with a bucket of freshly cooked KFC and saying, you can have it, touch it, smell it, and give it a lick once but eating is a no-no...
    Seriously WTF! I want my sensation of freedom :censored:

    I tried reasoning with then, telling them,
    I have done many hours of training courses,
    I going to wear the highly visible vest (similar to what the road workers wear, fluro yellow/orange)
    I will constantly be aware of accident prone situations and will be observant of my surroundings.
    I haven't been in any accidents in my 4 years of driving nor any speeding fines.
    Etc etc
    And what my parents have told me is that is they are not concerned about me riding but instead of the tossers/knobs who are less aware of their surrounding that cause accidents. (from what I have read on the forum they seemed to be soccer mums + 4WDs)[-(
    They kept telling me that no matter how experienced or aware of potential accidents I am I wont be able to control external factors that can cause the accidents. :blah:
    So I'm wondering how other have gone about similar situations and convinced their parents/love ones in this matter.
    P.S my parents are very reasonable people and I will be able to convince then with logic and reason. So if anyone has any well constructed speech that would be helpful highly appreciated.
    P.S.S My friends older brother was in a similar situation as me (his mum being against bikes) but he still bought one and his mum got used to it but still worries. If all else fails this will be my plan. :biker:

  2. Easy - if you're old enough to ride you're old enough to not be mooching off your parents and can do whatever the hell you like :p
  3. More seriously though, I'm 29 and am a better driver and rider than I was when I was 18 - mainly because over the years I've learned how to better predict "the tossers/knobs" as you put it. Here's some accidents from my youth:

    - Left hand lane of a two lane intersection, car from right hand lane pulled out after getting bored of waiting for the right hand turner.
    - Pulled out from a park, car to my right didn't notice me and turned directly in front of me into a side street
    - Three lanes leading towards freeway, far left hand lane splits off before freeway. Car in far left hand lane sideswipes me as she realises she wants to go straight.

    None of which were my fault, but all of which were potentially avoidable. All these happened in a 3 year span, and if I had my driving attitude from back then but now - I'd have many more stories to tell. I'm sure I'll say the same thing in 10 years from now as well.

    Your parents know this, and the line about "it's the tossers/knobs" out there is really them saying "you're not experienced enough on the road to perceive and avoid others making mistakes" - which is a pretty fair argument I think.

    One option is to reserve your motorcycle riding to the track, which eliminates the risk of soccer mum's in Toorak tractors.

    Another option is to get a bike more designed for touring, and use it for camping and so on - I personally believe the risk on the open country road is much lower than the risk in the suburbs.
  4. I have frequently driven my parents to the airport from home (approximate 50kms one way) and back (once a fortnight), and on several occasions have avoided very close near misses, as the aviators call them. And the parents do approve of my driving ability.

    Track days sounds like a creative idea, but to be honest I'm not much of a racing Fanatic.

    And my dad approves, just need my mum's blessings.

    One down, one more to go...
  5. Your parents make a sound argument, I'm afraid. Nevertheless tens of thousands ride and don't all die. Many of us however, end up with the point end of the stick up our bums at some point.as will you, probably.

    So no use arguing against that- just say that you'll do you best to avoid danger, but it IS a reality that YOU accept, and ask them for their support in that.
  6.  Top
  7. They are exactly right. Each time I get onto my two wheels I have full confidence in my riding ability, it's the other road users that scare the hell out of me.

    My mother was a nurse for 25 years so she got to see some of the nasty results that can come from riding a bike. I have been riding almost a year now and she still isn't convinced and I know that there is no way I could completely convince her. What you have to do is talk to them about it, help them understand why you're different from that bike rider they saw pulling mono's the other day. When your in the car with them point out things that happen and say "That could've been nasty if I was on two wheels, I wouldn't put myself in that situation when on a bike". Show them how you would ride, it's all about defensive riding.

    Remember it's in a mothers nature to be scared about their child - no matter how old you are. You need to help her get over her fear of it before you can get any sort of blessing for it. Buy the right gear, show them the gear, the pads in it, how it works - this will help them realise that even before stepping onto a bike you have taken all precautions very seriously. It will show them that you are mature enough to make this decision and it will go a long way to them supporting you.
  8. If you're scared of what "may" happen, and external factors, then you will never do anything ever again. No sport, no driving the car, no sunbathing, no swimming, no walking down the street, no watching TV (its an external influence) etc. Heck, even sitting in your own living room has risks. People have been killed by stuff falling off planes overhead.

    We know that activities have certain risks associated to them, some activities have more risks that others, but we know what they are, and we do what we can to minimise them. (knowing they can never be eliminated completely)

    Living in fear, is not a good way to live.

    Mankind has evolved as far as we have because we strive to concur our fears.
  9. Have you considered buyin a dirtbike for a littlewhile
    Youve been drivin for 4 years so must be around 20 your old enough to be called a man,drink,smoke etc etc
    I know there your parents and will always will worry
    So i say grow some nuts turn up with a bike atyour place ,yea your parents will be pissed may kick you out etc but they will get over it eventually
  10. If it's what your heart wants then just get it and deal with with your mum later.
    I was in a similar situation as you but my wife was the one who was against me getting a bike for years.
    Call it a midlife crisis or whatever but at age 40 I said stuff it I'm getting it and if you don't like it stiff.
    I had the father in law calling me an idiot, my brother in law telling me they are dangerous (he envies me anyway for getting one). I even had my wife's friend who's a nurse call me an organ donor.
    I got the bike anyway and although nobody is happy (except me) I'm not hassled over it anymore .
    If your heart really wants it get it now otherwise you'll do it 20 years from now and wished you hadn't had waited so long.
    The main thing is common sense and always ride to your abilities.
  11. That was an interesting read. I'll update it with some Aussie stats from www.tacsafety.com.au

    In terms of miles travelled, motorcycles account for just 1%.

    There are 0.24 times as many serious injuries on a bike (2008). A motorcyclist or pillion is 24 times more likely to end up with a serious injury than a driver or passenger.

    There are 0.19 as many deaths (2009), so a motorcyclist or pillion is 19 times as likely to end up dead than a driver or passenger.

    There's no breakdown of drink/speed/fatigue factors within bikes versus cars, but if we assume that they're similar:

    14% were over 0.05.

    "Speed is a major factor in at least 34% of fatal crashes" (in SA - http://www.sapolice.sa.gov.au/sapol/road_safety/road_statistics.jsp but it's a really hard to find stat)

    "Inattention is a major factor in 30% of fatal crashes"

    "In 2009 9% of drivers and riders tested positive to drugs"

    "Fatigue is a contributing factor in 30% of fatal crashes"

    So you may be 20 times more likely to be hurt or killed, but you can massively reduce the risk by going slower, staying alert, 0.00 BAC, and never riding when tired. I'm not a statistician, and to estimate the new "X times more likely" assuming you're not any of these things is beyond my ability [I'm pretty sure it's P(A|not(8))] or something.

    EDIT - Also to properly calculate it you'd need stats on crashes in which more than one was a factor, an extra factor was present in one driver/rider versus both driver/riders etc.
  12. How old are you and do you still live at home?
    I was (and still am) living at home when I got my bike at 20. Mum wasn't too thrilled about it at first, but she realised pretty quickly it was happening. You might be surprised at how they come around, once I got it she was pretty excited! Yes they still worry about me, but that's what parents do.

    Similar thing with my mate, it looked like it would be a bit of a battle to get his parents to accept it, but when he turned up with it they were unexpectedly very receptive.

    Of course it depends on the parents, but I think the key is for them to understand that you're taking it seriously - you're not going to ride around in jeans and a t-shirt, you're aware that basically every situation can quickly become dangerous, you're not going to go straight out onto major roads until you've had some practice and have your basics down.

    If you don't live at home...just do it! :p
  13. Thanks guys for the informative replies. Highly appreciated... didn't expect soo many replies...
    I've already read the "beating the odds" and used it as my main thesis in trying to convince my mum, but no luck! (but thanks anyway Ohmigosh)
    I also had a talk with several senior bike riders (including my neighbor, 20 yrs of riding exp with no history of accident) and they all have told me, basically, the same things as everyone has said, there are risks in life, and people don't grow without challenging these fears and risks. Also mum's can't be convinced, they will always worry (as SET has said).
    So I'm going to purchase a bike, bring it home one day and see what happens, hopefully everything goes all well! (fingers crossed) As most people in similar situations as me has said, they will all get accustomed to the idea.
  14. Worst case your family disowns you and you move out like you should have anyway ;)
  15. I first wanted a bike at 5. I'm 22 now and have FINALLY gotten one.

    It was dirtbikes for the first 15 years. My relatives always had loads of bikes so i never really needed to get my own. My parents would relentlessly drum into me how dangerous motorbikes are, and how they're a 'deathtrap'.

    I don't live at home, but when my bike became available and i could afford the right gear, i went for it. I haven't had it for long at all, but already i know it is one of the best things i have ever done. It brings so much joy to my life that other people can see. I don't expect my parents to be over the moon, however they know im taking it seriously and they know it isn't a whimsical decision to buy a bike, and that i have indeed put thought into it and have wanted one for 2/3 of my life.

    At the end of the day, show them that you're 100% serious about being the safest possible road user out there, you're going to have to deal with their anxiety regardless but eh, they're parents!
  16. Seriously what is up with you wanting me to move out of the house?
  17. Dont buy a dirt bike, dont go and by a track bike..save your money for the bike you want..if the old man has come around then you only need to win over mum.
    Spend a few hundred and hire one of those motorcycle charter dudes..on a massive touring machine..heated seats,massive fairing,ash tray,stereo..the full kit and kaboodle interstate type tourer....tell the rider to take mum for a gentle scenic ride. Dont ask if mum would like to..just make it happen. I bet she will return smiling from the experience.
    After that she might understand why you want to ride...she still might not be too happy about you wanting to be a rider..but she will have had a taste of what it's like.
  18. that is an awesome idea!
  19. My story was similar. Mum and dad supportive of me wanting a bike (was 17), as we had just moved 15km from my school at the start of year 12 and i didnt want to change schools. I spent a few months saving money (which was put into an account id had since birth (grandparents opened it) under a joint signature with my mother... to which she also DEMANDED i put in all the money i got for presents at christmas and birthdays... wish i knew what a mistake it was making back then :p.), buying gear, and looking for a bike.

    Id saved up about $5k at the time and found an awesome bike (cant remember what it was specifically now), but it wasnt registered and about 200km away, so dad and i decided to get a trailer to go pick it up.
    Id signed the papers for mum to take to the bank for me so i could get the cash out for the bike, and after all the months of support saying its a fantastic idea... well... she changed her mind that morning after dad and i had hired a trailer and were waiting for her.
    The argument that ensued was understandably apocalyptic. :D.

    Unrelated to that, i havent spoken to my mother in nearly 5 years, and i sure as hell dont intend ever to again. Thats the way she backflipped on everything that didnt benefit her somehow.

    Anyway... dude. You are 29... grow a spine :D just go get yourself a bike. Surely by now you have learnt to ignore your mothers rants?
  20. Unfortunately, they are right.

    My argument would be "the illusion of control", ie there are many more factors we can't directly control than ones we can.

    You could be hit by a bus crossing the road, an aeroplane engine might fall out of the sky & kill you while you sleep, a car could come through the front window of your local while you having a beer, et al.

    You can't let fear keep you from doing the things you want to do, otherwise, if you really stop and think about all the things you do control, you'll never leave the house.

    You could ask you mum if she has ever done anything risky: "Well, once, when I was 29, I got a motorcycle & went around australia on it, but that's completely different!"

    You never know...