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Tasfest 2007, Lapping the map

Discussion in 'Roads, Touring, Journeys, and Travel' started by robsalvv, Feb 28, 2007.

  1. After months of planning, 14 intrepid travellers lined up in the queue to board the spirit... and the Tasfest2007 began!

    Pivotal efforts by the lovely Mrs Scumbag (Tour director) and the fun loving curve swallowing Sgt Scumbag (ride leader) went a helluva long way to making the trip essentially trouble free! Major Kudos to them!!

    (...since the trip had a shellfish/seafood bias, they became known as the scumbugs... affectionately bugs 1 and bugs2. :LOL:)

    The travellers were:
    • Mrs Scumbag
    • Mr Scumbag
    • Cejay
    • BlackBetty
    • Jarrah
    • Deyago
    • VTRelmarco
    • Chairman + Libby
    • Russel + Christine
    • Robsalvv
    • Dimi
    • G

    The overall duration was 12days in total.

    The basic itenary was:
    1. Devonport to Launceston - three night stay
    2. Launny to Strahan - two night stay
    3. Strahan to Hobart - six night stay
    4. Hobart to Strahan - two night stay
    with plenty of trips in between.

    Five travellers departed after 7 days, another two after 10days and the rest were hardy souls that did the whole trip. The 7 dayers clocked up about 2100kms. The 10 dayers clocked up about 3000kms. The 12dayers clocked up about 3500kms.

    There was probably only some 600kms that were straight. :shock:

    Some other statistics:
    • Highest petrol price: $1.56/litre @ Wilmot
    • About 35000kms collectively covered
    • 186 litres of petrol consumed by the ZX9R, costing about $250.
    • Highest "macchiato" cost $2.41
    • About 2000 photos taken.
    • Two rider down incidents
    • Three off road excursions
    • Rained on day 1 and day 10 - otherwise warm and balmy
    • 14 dozen oysters consumed
    • About 50 litres of beer consumed!
    • 100's kg's of chocolate and other gourmet foods consumed
    • About 15litres of Rob's special road sustaining mizone/peach tea/berrocca camelback mix personally consumed.
    • About 10 billion insects died for the combined cause of the Tasfest2007 trip!
    • Uncountable number of laughs, smiles and jokes had by all!!! :LOL:

    Trip reports to follow.



    The crew:

    Hobart from Mt Wellington:

    Jake expressing his feelings... blurry shot coz I was laughing...
  2. Thanks for getting the ball rolling Rob.

    For me, it all began in a bit of a blur. All I could remember was deck G5: only get out of the boat, if you're going all the way.
    We assembled on deck G5 and something unexpected happened. Someone had forgotten to lube the goat...: It was raining. :shock:

    I asked Jake to re-iterate the exact route to D HQ: essentially we would cross over the bridge and do a U-Turn. There was plety of time to install the gore-tex liner to my Guardian Suit Jacket, but theworld was unprepared for me to remove the trousers at that juncture. Hey it was only going to be until we made HQ.

    Off we get, no questions about strange fruit and we assembled at the far end of the car park in steady rain. There we stood awaiting a head count and inspiration.

    I appointed myself as TEC early in the peace. The Bling Boy was the last to be ready, committing a flagrant crime of fashion, frantically attempting to place a pristine set of white gloves on in the driving rain. As the others left and not wanting to leave a man down, I waited. Finally, he waved me on. As I navigated my way through this chilly LZ and began to cross the bridge, I pondered did the Gloved one hear the navigational instructions as I had.
    Finally, I caught up with the group and informed the point: the faeces may have already hit the fan.
    D went back for him and it fortunately it was all good.
    We made it D HQ via the roandabout with a railway track though the middle (only in Tasmania) for some hearty rations.
  3. I was, and remain, utterly jealous. Although I'd have thought macchiato would get a little pricier in the more remote areas... :grin:
  4. I thought $2.41 was a fair price seeing as I was naked at the time. I used a firm squirrel grip to hold onto the glass.
  5. Day 0

    OK, so Day Zero sounds a little bit ominous, sort of the killing fields, but without the killing and no fields. But you get the idea....

    At Port Melbourne, we were supposed to get some much needed grub to sustain us on the long and tortuous ferry crossing to Taswegia (an Island just south of Stralya). Having watched episodes of Blackadder I was fully expecting to be drinking urine by the 6th week, but I didn't realise it would happen so soon. Unfortunately, we found ourselves on the dock with no way out....

    Loved ones came to bid us farewell on our journey. It was so romantic, performing a loving smooch through the bars on the dock. I wasn't sure that VTRElmarco was so happy that it was his loved one I was smooching...damn, caught out again! A big boofy security guard beat us away from the fence. 11/09 all that. So we had to resign ourselves to a solitary departure. Weep.

    Joining us on the dock were the gang from Hangmore. Whilst admiring the RSV Mille in front of me, I commented on the Supercorsa's he had fitted. At which point I was told that that was nothing, I should check out the guy with the cut slicks! All the Hangmore team were travelling light. Very light. I only hope they had access to laundry facilities. Eeeewwww! Stinky!

    And then we were called to board. The trip begins! Excitement x 100, coupled with alcohol (urine on draught!) and a game where the poms won a cricket match made Cliffy a happy boy. And then to sleep.
  6. Scumbag notes, security guard was a gorilla, pressing faces through the bars was entertaining as was watching all other riders queuing talong the wharf.
    Couple of quiet drinks to sooth the sea sickness prone (plus drugs) then to bed to dream of curvy roads to come.
  7. Day 0 - “I’m Over Stimulated Dayâ€

    You couldn’t wipe the smiles off people’s faces at the dock in Port Melbourne. Slightly miffed that Cejay was pashing Susan goodbye, I just had to hug Scumbags leg for comfort instead. All of our trusty steeds were polished to jewel like perfection, and this would rapidly deteriorate after several day of bug infested Tasmania riding.

    Deyago was fashionably late (He had his nails to do and after all, a lady has to look her finest) but all made it into the bowels of the ship safe and sound. Loved ones were waving hankies goodbye and the ship backed away from the dock and commenced sail to the Land of the Never Ending Corner.

    “What to do?†thought I. Drink some beer was the answer. I was aided and abetted by Deyago and a quite night around the bar was had by most with several people’s sea sickness medication kicking in with funny results. I think RobSalv lost feeling in his tongue…

    Despite spooning with the loving and tender Brother G, a rubbish night’s sleep was had and I couldn’t wait to get to Tasmania.
  8. Day 0

    Jake, Dimi and myself were the last to join the Tasfest crew who were milling in the vehicle queue. The hot chips we brought along were enjoyed... it seemed that some were a little hungry. The dude with the totally (over)loaded occy strapped CB250 and wild hair was a nice counter point to our oxford, rjays, top box, tail bags, hard pannier lugguge setups. I wouldn't have credited a CB250 could have been loaded to that degree!

    After the secret Spirit motorvehicle checking in business was finished, we were checked in and sent on. My first heart in mouth moment was watching Dimi splitting up the big ramp on the left hand side of the cars, with her helmet hanging off the right hand side of the speed bag, barely missing mirrors and cars by mere millimetres... well... all except for the very last car. THWACK! Ooops.

    We were now on board. Time to get cabins and drinks and sea sickness drugs sorted... the reports were for a wild night out at sea... and it was.

    With a general undercurrent of excitement rising as melbourne fell behind, I left the group at the bar (how unusual... our group at a bar :LOL:). The sea sickness drugs had me looking at the group's antics through glazed eyes and a heavy fog... a portend of the day ahead... I somehow managed to get myself into the prison bunk sized bed of the claustraphic cabin... the pretty colours on the inside of my eyelids comforting me as I lost consciousness...


    The next morning arrived and so did a steady rain :( Out comes the wet weather gear... virgin gear for some of our group, and we had to U turn our luggage laden bikes on a wet steel plate deck - stress levels were high... many slips... but luckily no falls... Finally exited into steady pouring rain... drenched by the time we got past the customs guys who waived us on - a soggy start to the trip... Welcome to Tassie... excitement seemed a very far away feeling.

    The plan was to head to Jake's mum's for brekky prior to the stretch to Launceston... buggered if I knew details of the plan... I just followed the bike infront of me... somewhere along the line we lost VTRElmarco... while we huddled as a group in the rain, Jake went on a search and rescue mission.

    He was eventually found with more than a passing curse to his innefective goat, we set off again. 14 wet dripping motorcyclists finally arrived in the quiet culdesac of Jake's mum's place... the promise of coffee, bacon and egg rolls, and a warm house spurring us on.

    Jake's mum is tops!!

    A couple of hours later, fully breakfasted, dried out, plastexed and reinvigorated - spirits were high as we rode out into the rain again... and it rained and rained and rained all the way to Launceston.

    The rain stopped just after we found the Penny Royal apartments and moved into our quarters... [​IMG]

    After setting up a truckload of wet gear infront of heaters and windows to dry, a trip for supplies was in order and we settled into the late afternoon and evening of day 1.

    ...this is where the coffee goes...

    Mrs Scumbag had a hankering for gourmet fishnchips which were within (15 loooong minutes) walking distance, but since we'd had such a crap ride that day, Dimi and I decided to meet the crew later after some explorative two up riding. There were these big hills with big houses overlooking Lonny... the draw to go up and have a look at these majestic places was too strong... so we had a look. The views were great and the places were old, stately and British like... but needless to say, since we were decidedly not locals - we got lost :LOL:

    Once we found our way again, we eventually found the gourmet fishnchip place. The table was shaped like a big fish... how cyooit. Fishnchips, beer and icecream... yum. After dinner, we rode off while the others walked. I learned the next morning that the boys went for a "quiet drink"...little did we know that when Jake and Mark get on song in drinking mode - it's anything but quiet... however quiet is exactly what they they were wishing for till the hangover cleared.... :LOL:

    Day 1 ends.
  9. Scumbag notes:
    Wet wet wet wet wet
    Great coffee and bacon rolls. Tks very much to Deyagos mum.
    The neighbours had a ball watching us all take off with great revving and stuff, sure we woke everyone else up.
    Did I mention it was wet.
    Roads to Launceston, wet. Reasonable grip though.
    Sat at pretty much the speed limit.
    Accommodation was ok though another night in a single size bed was not pleasing to me.
    Breakfast supplies obtained and a short walk around as well.
    Dead cow was great. Service less than average. Took alot of self control not to vomit on serving staffs shoes.
    Went accross road for icecream, was a cracker.
    Back to bed, to dream purchance to ride in the morning.
    Scumbag out.
  10. Chaiman & Libby decided that a quiet dinner for two was the go, and skipped the great Salad Bar fiasco. Instead we went to the local pub, where the bar menu and the bistro menu are the same, except for a $20-per-dish wank surcharge that the bistro gouges out of its diners.

    Entertained by a rather comely barmaid with a thick Irish accent. Has lived in Australia 20years but practices retaining the accent as it helps get pub work. Can communicate intelligibly when required - understands "More Beer, please", "Where's the dunny", "This carpet is too sticky to sleep on" and "I love ya, maaaate". Note to self - avoid telling barmaids you love them when girlfriend is within earshot.

    The money we saved on food was spent on beer and pre-mix Black Russians. Slept well

    Oh, nearly forgot. Rode motorcycle.
  11. Day 1 - Launceston or Bust via Deyago's Uber Mum

    Delighted to be woken at the lovely time of 5:15am. Yes, did I say AM. AM FFS!!!!! I am supposed to be on holiday, but maybe they take their penal (spell that correctly!) heritage seriously and want to start us with some discipline first day out.

    So a wander to the deck to survey the wonderful sights of Devonport at 6am. Except it was dark and raining. I am sure Devonport is a wonderful and pretty place, all I know is that the rain was wet and plentiful.

    Exiting the boat was fun. We had to turn the bikes around on a wet and slippery deck with zero help from the ever helpful deck staff. The Hangmore guys were funny. They have a reputation as a fast bunch of riders. Pfft, waiting to be called to disembark is for pansies obviously. Yup, I am sure they were lane splitting off the boat! We expressed some sympathy for the guy with cut slicks and prayed that Clarence could work his magic for us.

    We watched in amazement (or was it amusement?) as a few bikies left the boat. No wet weather gear for them. Open denim jacket and white t-shirt and half gloves are all that's required! Did we mention it was raining?

    So off we depart to Deyago's wonderful mothers house. Except we nearly didn't all get there. Within 5km our group of 12 bikes was only looking like 7, but we managed to regroup and head to deepest Devonport for essential feeding. Jake's mum is tops!

    And off to Launceston. Or Lonnie as I am told it is known. Weather not looking good, but the internet web thingo told me that the forecast was looking good for the coming days. We must remember to slay Clarence (or his successor, given that he's well and truly dead) a couple of days earlier next time.

    Contrary to popular rumour, cow was not eaten this night. Night 1 was a wonderful fish and chips night in the harbour. A chippery with a licence to serve alcohol. How good is that!? And ice cream. I mean, ice cream, beer and fried food. What an awesome combination.

    Night 1 also coincided with my 'I am not old, I am experienced' birthday, so I mentioned the opportunity to drink alcohol to Jake and Mark and off we departed to Irish Murphy's where alcohol was imbibed. Lots of it. The band was great, the atmosphere was awesome and I was drunk. Very.

    A restless night sleep followed. I may have fell over once or twice. Sorry for the noise, it was me :oops:

    Jeepers, I got to ride the next day. Man up!
  12. Day 1 – “Stupid A$$ Gloves Dayâ€

    A wet a dreary day greeted us after the shocking wake up call by the very helpful Spirit of Tasmania crew. Due to my uncanny power over the weather, when I all goes wrong, you instantly get blamed for it. I was roundly ignored, shunned and dismissed at by all that wet cold morning. It’s a curse this power I tell you.

    I almost completely ruined the whole tour within 2 minutes of leaving the boat. Deciding to swap gloves, I couldn’t get my wet ones on in time as was promptly left behind. I remember Deyago mentioning something about a bridge and was very lucky to be picked up and escorted to Deyago’s Mums place where I then ate all of her fruit. She is a top-flight lady and was a welcome sight for sore eyes at the end of the trip as well.

    A brisk, cold and wet run to Lonny was unanimously voted for so it was a direct paddle down to highway. This was to be the last drop of rain I rode in for the entire trip such is my amazing power over the weather and I was later hailed as a god by all on tour…

    The day in Launceston proved to be a relaxing one due to the weather and we all had some nice seafood that night. Then Deyago and I hatched a cunning plan. It involved a “few quite drinks†in celebration of Ceejay’s 21 st birthday (See how I did that Ceejay!). We staggered home at 1 in the morning with no pants and a rash that won’t go away. A top night was had by all.

    I would pay for it the next day,
  13. ....of course... day1 saw fishnchip night... day2 was SALADBARgate... I was going by memory... things got a bit konfoosed.... I remember now! Better edit for clarity. :)
  14. Day 2 – “Bags Tail End Charlie Dayâ€

    After a bender a few brisk hours sleep, we are set for our first official day of riding. Up the Tamar Highway and east back towards Devonport via a back road had me riding like a tool and sweating out 6 pints of beer. I overtook Black Betty while she was overtaking a car. Later we would not really be bothered about stuff like this, but at our stop for lunch I threw myself at her feet and begged for forgiveness. She then brutally beat me with her back protector. Lesson learnt.

    Lunch blew everyone’s mind but it was also good to finally blow a few cobwebs away and get back on the roads. The speeds were slowly upped as everyone started to get there groove on. A few back roads out to Sheffield and Chudleigh for some honey and the group was really starting to gel. Ceejay took off on a top speed run on a Virago XV250, but any official photographs have been burnt. Some hooligan antics were also recorded by Scumbag only 100 metres away from a cop shop.

    We made our way back to Launceston via the back roads and the West side of the Tamar Highway were we had a little incident that left a learner in tears and Deyago vainly trying to gesture that she did nothing wrong. It seemed to only make the situation worse so we did what any brave motorcyclists would do and got the hell out of there.

    I coasted into Launceston with barley 250 ml of petrol left. I got over 270 km out of a tank for the day but that’s the last figure I give on fuel economy because I don’t care how many km/lt my bike gets, only that random strangers want to have sex on it/with it.

    Everyone headed of for some dead cow, but instead of following the herd (geddit?) I went for a tough, hilly 6 km run though the Cataract Gorge. It was sunset, I had Little Wing by Jimi Hendrix playing on my iPod and it was one of those truly magical moments for me that I will always remember. I returned to catch Chairman and Libby leaving for dinner. By the time I had checked in and cleaned up, I was too late for food at the pub, so Libby, or who I will now refer to as Libby “The Legend†fixed me up some nice ham and salsa toasted sandwiches. Yum, and no Black Betty, they are mine!!

    I went to sleep shattered after a few beers with a full belly. Yay!!
  15. Day 2.
    Fairly early start for the troop this morning, a couple of participants were not looking the best. I of course was full of sympathy.
    Led the troop out after picking up fuel for most people.
    Went Via the Tamar for a while then scooted across back country to near Devonport and then a short stroll to Anvers Chocolate factory for lunch. Very yummy.
    After lunch headed our way down some back roads and to the lovely town of Sheffield, from there to Mole creek and the Tasmanian honey place, where CJ attempted to launch the Virago into hyper space.
    On to Westbury for coffee and stuff. Any mention of hooligan antics must have been beer induced I cannot recall any of the aforemention antics officer honestly.
    Did I mention somewhere the Tuono monos and stoppies real good. :LOL:
    From there whe went back country again towards the roads we had done in the morning and then across a nice bridge. Just before this a couple of things,
    a. the guy on the GSXR who slowed to have a look at us then pulled a huge mono, he just had to be chased for a bit, very entertaining,\
    b. Deyago causing the L plater to have a hysterical break down in her car. :LOL: :LOL:
    After crossing the Tamar river we headed down the main road and back into Lonnie for dinner and stuff.

    Good day, some very good roads and weather was holding up. Must have been Mrs Scumbag threatening Vtrelmarco with vile forms of punishment if Clarence did not hold up his end of the bargain.
    Scumbag out.
  16. This was funny. I laughed in the same sort of way I still laugh when I watch Lord of the Flies or the "ear" scene from Reservoir Dogs.

    An unfortunate "L" plater , with "The Towel Lady" emblazoned across the rear of her hatchback, was pursuing us as best she could all over nothern Tassie. We'd stop for a photo - she'd amble past at (at speed limit minus 20 kph), we'd catch up, over take, stop for a photo - repeat as required.

    Eventually we reached a long straight and some riders on their evil bolognese-powered machines went past her at...well...they went past her. 'nuff said. Once the sonic boom cleared, poor Deyago and I went past, to see her sobbing wretchedly over the steering wheel. I figured that approaching her and trying to console her was unwise because:
    • it could have been a clever ruse - we're in wilds of backwoods country and I could hear banjos and squealing piggies
    • her mother was in the car and I'm deathly scared of women's mothers and
    • Libby was on the back and hugging crying girls is bad form (I actually don't get this one - if Libby is upset I'm supposed to hug her, but apparently this is a special Libby-only rule)
    Shortly after, she stops the car to regain her composure. Unfortunately Deyago, who is much more attuned to womenfolk than I, has pulled over immediately in front of her to corner mark a right-hander and is doing his best to signal "turn right" to us, whilst signaling "it's OK, I hope you're not permanently psychologically scarred" to her. However she doesn't wan't support - all she wants is to turn left (if she ever regains her composure) so THESE BASTARD MOTORCYCLISTS aren't content to victimise her when she's moving - now they're blocking her way and harrassing her even when she's parked for a good blubber. More tears.

    In the end, Deyago adopted Chairman's approach to dealing with weeping women and left her to sort it out with the assistance of the one thing a girl can't get by without - her mum.
  17. Day 2

    There's a ride today!!

    I had no idea where we were going or what we were going to do, but with vague notions of heading westish and total faith in the corner marking system and our ride leader, we set off.

    Couldn't help notice a few bleary eyed gentlemen... CJ somehow didn't look as bad as he reportedly felt... must have been that "stiff upper lip what" constitution.

    I have no idea of the roads we travelled today, and how we got to some of the destinations (note, I do now after seeing Scumbag's post), but the corner marking worked a treat as did the group dynamic.

    The roads were dry and had good traction (the amount of roadkill was surprising!). The bike felt sure footed and vision was good. Sweepers were attacked with gusto but at sane fun levels. I decided to sit about the middle of the pack and enjoy the lead riders all tipping into corners one by one like a bike ballet. Great sight!

    By the end of the ride a ride order had pretty much formed... 2nd to 6th possy's were variously filled by CJ, Jarrah, Deyago and VTRelmarco. The middle possy's typically had Russel (man could he punt the TT two up), myself, Chairman (man could he punt that single two up!) and BB. The tail was Dimi, Mrs Scumbag and G.

    CJ and Jarrah definitely liked being towards the pointy end... Deyago and VTRelmarco were observed playing possy swapsies (a lot) and generally having a helluva party of their own... which set the scene for the rest of their ride. :)

    Somewhere along the way we stopped at Anvers... OMFG! Gourmet food and chocolate... I'm planning a weekend pop over sometime soon just to go there again! <insert Homer gargling noises>



    Everyone seemed to handle themselves really well... though I was right behind Elmarco when he pulled that over overtaking move on Black Betty. Tsk tsk. Dimi showed the first signs of hankering for a bigger bike as she was never more than a couple of minutes behind the lead group. Good on her!

    Along the way there was a poor L plater female driver left a demoralised crying mess because of all the overtaking by our loud nasty bikes... sheesh! Actually I think the 6 bikes in succession, overtaking her on the outside of a left hand sweeper at high speed did it :twisted: ... ahhh well. :LOL:

    At some point we stopped at some town famous for its murals for some reason *shrug*... but I preferred the longish end of the day stop and recharge at Andy's 24hour everything place... (where Scumbag was observed to discover the balancing point of the Tuono - both ends. hehehehe.) Very friendly folk there. I believe Chairman and Elmarco went off to play steam trains. Choo Choooo!

    There was also a stop at some bee place at which time CJ did a partial dirty bike swap on Dimi's Virago... apparently Dimi couldn't reciprocate on the Tuono due to clearance of ground issues... ;) The virago survived as did CJ. What a hoot.


    The day was drawing to a close and we ambled back to base.

    The group mood was up up up and a good chow down was needed. We had top dead cow that night!... but the place is never to be mentioned again. The SALADBAR Gate scandal will go down as one of the most petty dining incidents in memory... we were almost forced to re-enact Tassie's penal colony past due to the utterly scurrilous abuse of the salad bar by Russel and Chrissy (she took some salad off his plate... :shock:). We American Expressed that manager's sorry arse - so they made a loss in charges (bwhaaahahahahahaaaa) and day 2 was over with that satisfied tired feeling.

    G's services were not required yet... but I think his spider senses were tingling...

    Day 2 ends.
  18. Nice report all.
    Can't wait for the report on Friday Night at Joe's Garage...now there will be a few stories to tell on that report :p :cool:
  19. ah but BEFORE that, we have Day 3 - which was the Poitina Run......"road kill corner" write up anyone ???? :grin: :grin: :grin:
  20. I'll leave it to others to fill in the details of the climb up Poatina - maybe Deyago (who led the group that went on their own speshul ride) or VTRelMarco (who was mini-ride tail end charlie) could fill us in?

    Road kill corner...

    Think back, Grasshopper, to the rider skills test that got you your "P"s. There was an exercise that involved weaving your way through witches hats. Easy, wasn't it?

    Now, to make things a little tricky, we'll set the witches hats on a nice, tight left/right combination corner. Add in a lake 6 feet off to the left of the road and armco on the right. And, as the crowning turd in the cistern, replace the witches hats with festering potaroo carcasses.

    Finally, your instructor says "your task is to slalom through the roadkill at not less than...oh...the price of a midrange espresso - maybe $1.40...I'll leave the choice (left/right/left or right/left/right) up to you.

    So, in close formation, you attack roadkill corner. The result is predictable but not pretty. Bikes go in all directions as everyone tries to guess the best line and a pink mist (with the occasional chunk) fills the air. From behind it looks like "Swan Quake" as riders gracefully arabesque from side to side and our native wildlife gets mercilessly gibbed.

    Of course, this recollection may be the product of a fevered imagination - in the words of Edmund Blackadder "there should perhaps be more armament factories and not quite so many elephants". But I think you get the picture.

    One thing I can confirm - Tasmania is the roadkill capital of our fair land. Why they're not exporting pies instead of beer is beyond me. Which reminds me - the Cascade Soylent was very good.