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Sweet vengeance

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Bravus, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. If it had only happened once I might have been able to shrug it off - as you guys know, my general approach to agro in traffic is pretty zen. "Let karma take care of it, don't get yerself stressed out" is my usual advice.

    So when it happened last Thursday, I just shook my head ruefully and let it go. People just do change lanes without indicating and without looking, and I'm alert enough and guard my space enough that it really only gave me a fairly minor jolt. And when he then stood on his brakes a second later, I assumed he'd forgotten something, got on mine hard, counter-steered around him and was outta there. There might have been some minor profanity in the helmet, but that's all part of letting it go.

    So on Friday, heading home through the same area, I wasn't even thinking about Thursday - until the same bloody cream Camry was sitting in the left lane, only a couple of hundred yards from where it had happened before. And sure enough, no blinkers, no look, into my lane and onto the anchors! This time I braked hard and stayed behind him, then pulled out once another car had slipped past on the left, gave him a 'wtf?' gesture, but didn't bother hanging around to see a reaction.

    Forgot all about it in the course of a magic weekend with a reasonable amount of riding that was not commuting, but I have to admit, I was a bit twitchy on the ride home this evening. Even a bit more so when sure enough, crappy cream Camry at 10 o'clock. I really had needed the ball peen hammer at the office today, just to knock a nail back into a desk drawer that was coming loose... but maybe I could have zipped the Gearsack closed instead of having it slightly open with the hammer standing up inside it... And if the pocket on the back of the sack sometimes hangs down over my numberplate... well, I'll try to remember to put less stuff in it tomorrow.

    Sure enough, across he came, right on cue, no look no flash, and on the stoppers. I hung back and sat on his date this time, and slipped the hammer into the left hand. Next set of lights and he pulls up at the back of the traffic. I switch the hammer to my right, split to his left, pull up, make eye contact, and gently backhand the windscreen once, the mirror once, the passenger's side window once, the guard once, the door once, the bonnet once. Very gently, no force or anger... almost zen. Pop the hammer back in the bag, split to the front, then off and away.

    Not the right thing, but damn it felt good...

    This is a work of fiction, intended for your amusement. Feel free to contribute one of your own to this thread.
  2. wait...in this short story, did your mate actually do any damage or was it just a warning type of thing...even though it never happened
  3. Fictional story, eh?

    Should I buy you a fictional beer sometime, Bravus?
  4. FARK YEAH!!!

    pity about the last line but...

  5. I was going to write a comment regarding how I would have handled this differently (initiate dialogue or stat dec to police), but come to think of it, your approach is better. This bloke was obviously doing this with reckless indifference to your safety, and fvckers like this only understand only one thing: cause and consequence. He needs to understand that if he ever pulls this shit again, either he or his property is going to suffer immediate and considerable consequence.

    Here's to hoping he wisens up fast and gives you a clear berth from now on.
  6. Yeah, that would feel good! That's why my wife won't let me have a James Bond car. :cheeky:
  7. errr i have to ask, u do know this is fiction, as in it didnt happen
  8. Couple of points.
    Speed Demon, I went down to report a similar incident to the police and got "Sorry mate your word against hers (translation "can't be bothered but I'll pretend to give you a sympathetic ear").
    Bravus if you get into trouble you are the one with a weapon, not a nice predicament.
  9. Yeah I know, been there done that. The only way you'd get their attention is to bring in his dismembered head and announce in a chilling voice "this bastard cut me off."

    Goz, if I had hypothetically committed something that could arguably be written up as assault, I would hardly go and vent on an open-access internet forum without putting a 'this is fiction' disclaimer at the bottom of the post, would I now? Hypothetically speaking, of course.
  10. why not put his windscreen wipers up and let him know that his got indicators to use! :LOL:
  11. I have a close relative who used to use a sprayon glue on the windscreen - easy to carry and he had a legitimate reason for doing so. (It's easy to find a legitimate reason for carrying anything if you're working in the building industry :LOL: )

    The above fictional story was in Brisbane too. :wink:
  12. HYpothetically, given thatis person has been seen 3 days in a row is there any chance you might see them the next day and they may remember your bike/clothing and run you down....... or the next bike they see will be their new whipping boy.
  13. Ain't fantasy grand?
  14. im fantasizing about $8 grand actually :p
  15. One Word ...."HARDCORE" :shock:
  16. Kish Kish Kish :facepalm:

    It's called a clutch :cool: You know, the thing you're learning to use in order to play vertical? :p
  17. Aye, with some leftover momentum, what's needed is clutch and back brake, so left hand needs to ride and right hand hold the hammer.

    My fiction is carefully though out.