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Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by GavinB, Nov 16, 2008.

  1. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

    JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

    GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

    TEACHER: No, that's wrong

    GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

    TEACHER: What are you talking about?

    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
  2. Police officer- "do you think I'm an idiot?"

    Motorist- :-#
  4. I worked on a cruise ship last year full of silly americans... here are just a few tht i remember off the top of my head...:

    1. What time is the midnight buffet? hmmmm, 9pm!

    2. Does the ship generate its own electricity? No, we have underwater cables linked to michigan??

    3. Do these stairs go up or down? No, only down.

    4. How do I work the microwave in my stateroom? (Its a
    safe!) 'nuff said'

    5. Does this elevator take me to the back of the ship?

    6. Do the crew sleep on board? No, a helicopter picks us up in the middle of the night and returns us early morning***

    ***Few days later, same lady complains to front desk about the noise of these apparent helicopters... funniest thing ever. The lady at front desk smiled polietly and said 'Yes ma'am i'll make sure the pilot is aware

    7. Will we see dolphins in the morning? Yes, and I see a man, his name begins with D... he will dump you

    8. Can we look at the anchor? (When anchored!)

    9. What will the weather be like next wednesday? (Erm - how long is a piece of string?!)

    10. Can you move the lifeboat from our stateroom window?! Sure, sir! Let us store it in our 'proper' lifeboat storage area

    11. Has this ship ever sunk before? (Hmm!) Twice!

    12. Is the water in the toilet salt water or fresh water? (Why dont you taste it!)

    13. Which part of England are you from? Ahhh..Australia??

    14. Ahh - you're from Melbourne...do you know David Smith?!!

    15. Why does the ship not have cable? For some strange reason the designers thought satellite would be more approproate for a cruise ship

    16. (On formal night at Captain's Cocktail) Who's driving the boat? We trained a monkey

    17. Why are we not docked (urhhh... because there's no pier??!!!)

    18. I'm claustrophobic... is there any chance of an upgrade?

    19. Do the lifeboats really float? no, they're lifesubmarines. easier to spot from bottom of the ocean

    20. Why am I standing in this line?? (Well I don't know buddy, why ARE you standing in this line??)

    21. (Cruise to Nowhere) When are we docking at the first port?? (Did you REALLY book this cruise yourself)??

    22. What do I do with my life jacket after boat drill?? (Hmmm... lemme think...)

    23. Does this elevator go to deck 4? Unfortunatelly not, for those of you located on deck 4, you will have to walk from lvl 3

    24. Do these stairs go up

    25. Why isn't everything in the shops reduced on the last day of the cruise? Because it's not a closing sale douche bag. as soon as you get off, another 2000 will be right back on

    26. The orange pillows on my bed are so hard, can we get softer ones ? ( Ma'am, that will be your lifejacket )

    HAHAHAHAHA farkin funny

    Edit: I'll add answers for it too
  5. lol nice

  6. ABSOLUTELY FARKING BRILLIANT!!!!!!! :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: