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Stress Management

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by gsxr1000, May 20, 2005.

  1. A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a
    glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers
    called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute
    weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

    "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an
    hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll
    have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the
    longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

    He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we
    carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes
    increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of
    water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it
    again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

    "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't
    carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're
    carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can." "Relax; pick them
    up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!

    And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

    * Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the

    * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat

    * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
    middle of it.

    * Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their

    * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

    * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.

    * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
    warning to others.

    * Never buy a car you can't push.

    * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you
    won't have a leg to stand on.

    * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

    * The second mouse gets the cheese.

    * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

    * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the
    world to one person.

    * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

    * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty
    and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors,
    but they all have to live in the same box.

    * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
  2. Just what I needed to see

    Cheers Mate
  3. stress management !

    isnt that why we ride bikes
  4. This one is from the demotivational series:

    Love that one. ;)
  5. seraph's handy hints for stressed out people

    #1 Use the cat as a pillow.
    #2 Begin each day with three long blacks, a bottle of coke and a pack of Peter Stuyvesants.
    #3 Stay awake at night in case an axe murderer breaks in.
    #4 It's unhealthy to stress out over every single problem you have... pick one and obsess over it.
    #5 Ride pillion.

    Hope this helps. :)