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Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by joe9x, Jan 6, 2009.

  1. Stopped for speeding
    • A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

    • Officer: May I see your driver's license?

    • Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    • Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

    • Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.

    • Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

    • Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?

    • Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.

    • Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?

    • Biker: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:

    • Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

    • Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

    • Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?

    • Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

    • Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?

    • Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.

    • Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.

    • Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.

    • Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.

    • Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
  2. LOL

    Thats Cool!!!

    :LOL: :grin: :LOL:
  3. Bahaha ... maybe that'll work
  4. ROFL!!!

    thats freakin fantastic, thanks for sharing :)
  5. $40 to the person who tries this

    you have to show me the speeding ticket & get the officers name to prove it
  6. they might even be able to give you an arrest warrant or a newspaper clipping of them getting curb stomped :)
  7. my mate had a thoery, and i guess we could migrate it to a bike also.

    Driving along, copper behind turns the lights on.
    pull over in a hurry, slam the brakes on...
    Jump out of the car scearming and jumping up and down yelling "get it off me get it off me"...
    Fuzz asks what's going on, say it was a spider on you...

    his theory if it works great, if not your getting the ticket anyway...
  8. I was caught 40 over, but was seriously in need of a pi$$. I am a diabetic, so when mr plod asked for my licence, I handed him my wallet giving him instructions where it is inside it, all the while telling him I will be back in 30 secs, was running into the servo.

    I got back, he said he had written the ticket and used his discretionary powers to knock some kays off. I was booked for 10 kays over and told to control my diabetes better. LOL I had just driven from Bendigo and was pulled up at the Calder Park BP. I had the "feeling" in Malmsbury, but held on, till the only way to hold on any longer was to tie my willy in a knot!

    And yes I have diabetes and yes it's contolled very well, but when you gotta go, you gotta go!
  9. you're a guy... you couldn't have pissed on the side of the road behind a tree??
  10. Just because you've got one doesn't mean you can just piss anywhere! [-(

    Yeah, call it what you like ... whatev-errrrr! :?

  11. Wow, i remmeber that joke from when i was much younger! (although it was about a car not bike)

  12. You're a man, the world is your toilet.