Some of these have certainly appeared here before but there's a few new ones as well.. Just for you Paul Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Every calendar's days are numbered. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. A breakfast of boiled egg is hard to beat. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and t'aint mine. His photographic memory was never developed. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. Those who jump off Paris bridge are in Seine. When she saw her first gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Acupuncture is a jab well done. The short prison escapee fortune teller was a medium at large. Without geometry, life is pointless. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When egotists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. A backwards poet writes inverse. In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes. Definition of a Will: a dead giveaway. Pay your exorcist, or you'll get repossessed. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. You're stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. He fell into an upholstery machine, but is fully recovered. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France: Linoleum Blownapart. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat miner.