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Specially for Hornet - a bad pun is it's own re-word

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by TonyE, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. Some of these have certainly appeared here before but there's a few new ones as well..

    Just for you Paul :LOL:

    Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.
    A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
    Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
    Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
    Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
    Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
    Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
    A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
    When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    Every calendar's days are numbered.
    He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    A breakfast of boiled egg is hard to beat.
    A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and t'aint mine.
    His photographic memory was never developed.
    When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    Those who jump off Paris bridge are in Seine.
    When she saw her first gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
    Acupuncture is a jab well done.
    The short prison escapee fortune teller was a medium at large.
    Without geometry, life is pointless.
    A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
    Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
    Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
    When egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    A backwards poet writes inverse.
    In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
    Definition of a Will: a dead giveaway.
    Pay your exorcist, or you'll get repossessed.
    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    You're stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    He fell into an upholstery machine, but is fully recovered.
    Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France: Linoleum Blownapart.
    Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat miner.
  2. :LOL:

    From the Kingston Trio's concert at UCLA, back in about 1965;

    Show me a cowboy who rides side-saddle: and I will show you a gay ranchero....
  3. Show me steam rolled Korean with lobster; I show you crushed asian with crustacean. :cool: