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Somali Pirate tours,......

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Dr Who, Apr 25, 2009.

  1. G'day everyone,....

    I did'nt know where to post this but thought it funny..
    Also I have copyed it from another forum I go to.

    In light of the Pirate activity some bright spark has started up an interesting buisness,...


    I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high @ $800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find it that offensive.

    What I found enticing is that the cruise company is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a
    master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon.

    The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the
    costs and claims associated with the package.

    $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

    M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95

    Ak-47 rifle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at 14.95

    Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds of .50 cal. armor piercing at 9.95

    Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

    They even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads

    "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

    Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

    Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....

    "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"

    Sign my arse up!

    They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

    They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some text from the ad.

    "We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund back half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included)

    How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the
    ntire length of Somalia.

    At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before May 29 and get
    100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."

    :shock: :LOL: :roll:

    Dr Who?
  2. How many pirates do you reckon it would take to book a cruise then turn their hired guns on the operators and crew to 'jack the ship that way???

    Still, pretty good example of human ingenuity and thinking outside the box! Great concept!
  3. Tell ya what if this was for real and I wasn't about to become a dad I'd be signing up...
  4. In Vietnam you can pay like $250USD to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher.

    I have a trip planned for next year.
  5. That's cruelty to animals... that cow didn't do anything to you...

    In somalia it's pest control...
  6. now now, dont be making up excuses!
  7. If that is real, that is awesome!

    Can you imagine the look on the pirates' faces when they pull up to what they think is a party ship and 30 guys with automatic weapons, an rpg and a minigun pop up from behind the railing and open fire.

    Don't reckon the operators would get too many tours in before word gets around though. Then the pirates will just go back to trying for cargo ships and oil tankers. (Maybe the operators can account for this and use those as well).
  8. All it would take is one pirate with an RPG and down goes the ship...
  9. Just saw on the news that somali pirates actually attacked a cruise ship just recently.

    They said the were repelled by the crew who opened fire on them and passengers who threw plastic chairs at them to stop them boarding. lol.

    Here's a link to the story:

    It doesn't mention the chairs, but it was mentioned on the TV report. (10 news)
  10. This whole deal probably is an urban myth, but can't you just see some US redneck actually DOING it???

    In WW1 the Brits fitted out old steamers with guns, loaded their hold full of balsa wood so they wouln't sink when torpedoed, and when the U-Boat surfaced to finish off the job, they would drop the covers and blast the U-Boat out of the water. They called them Q-Ships. The Germans did the same thing; it was one of their Q-Ships that sunk HMAS Sydney.
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